Mother of Necessity

because sometimes, you just have to.

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What is Stealing Your Happiness?


We all desire to be happy. We all struggle to become happier or to maintain our happy. For some, it’s easy to maintain their happiness, and that is fantastic. For the rest of us we sometimes struggle with this on a yearly/monthly/daily basis.

Here are 6 areas that I have come up with that may steal your happiness.

1.  Your perception: Is your perception of your life stealing your happiness? Focusing on the negative things can change your perspective and make you feel sad.

It’s a simple fix. Change your perception: focus on the positives or the good things. I know, easier said than done. It is that simple, it just takes some practice. Every time you are negative or feeling negative, think about what is positive too. Don’t dwell on the negative…..move on.

2.  The weather: Does the cold, snowy weather have you feeling yucky? A lot of us are feeling it this year. Don’t let the cold and snow steal your joy. Punch it right in the face and say to yourself: this is a good day and I am going to be happy in spite of this awful weather. Enjoy the weather instead of cursing it. It could be worse, but you are fortunate enough to have shelter, heat, food and the strength to shovel snow or the finances to pay someone to shovel for you. Remember, this is only a season and it too shall pass.

Having a positive attitude can change your day quickly. Do something fun, like: go sledding, build a snowman, have a shoveling party or take a brisk walk and enjoy being outside.

3.  Your health: Is your health stealing your happiness? It probably is, being sick will steal your happiness. I know there are days when it’s impossible to be happy when you are so sick. But on a good day or even a not so great day they have joy in their heart. No pity parties here, just gratefulness brings happiness.

All the books say, being happy can help with recovery and prolong your life. I think it’s a good practice for all of us to find our happy. Even if it’s the smallest thing like a great conversation with a friend or waking up to another day. We need to see that those acts are things that make us happy and we need to cling to those. Some of us may not have the opportunity for another conversation or one more day.

I have some friends that are very sick and their health would be a great excuse for them to be unhappy/grumpy/mad at the world. But they are not. I am amazed by my friends. Even when they are having a very bad day, they say they are great and couldn’t ask for anything more and say it with a heartfelt smile on their face.

I know there are days when it’s impossible to be happy when you are so sick. But on a good day or even a not so great day they have joy in their heart.

All the books say, being happy can help with recovery and prolong your life. I think it’s a good practice for all of us to find our happy. Even if it’s the smallest thing like a great conversation with a friend or waking up to another day. We need to see that those acts are things that make us happy and we need to cling to those. Some of us may not have the opportunity for another conversation or one more day.

No pity parties here, just gratefulness brings happiness.

4.  Guilt: Does past or current guilt keep you from being happy? I’m talking about emotional guilt we carry because we did/said something we shouldn’t have. In my opinion, there’s only 2 ways to deal with emotional guilt. The second is, if the guilt you carry is something that is out of your control to correct, then the only option left is to…..let it go. Just like the song says in the movie Frozen, Let it Go, Let it Go. Don’t hold on to something you cannot correct. It’s a waste of your time and it steals your happiness. It’s time to move on.

The first is, if it’s something you can fix, then I suggest fixing it. If you have the courage to step up and admit what you did/said was wrong, then do it. Make it happen. Put on your big boy/girl pants and fix it. I know that’s some tough love but it’s very true. We are the only ones that can help ourselves be happy.

The second is, if the guilt you carry is something that is out of your control to correct, then the only option left is to…..let it go. Just like the song says in the movie Frozen, Let it Go, Let it Go. Don’t hold on to something you cannot correct. It’s a waste of your time and it steals your happiness. It’s time to move on.

5.  Bitterness: Is holding on to something making you bitter and stealing your happiness? Holding onto that anger because someone has done you wrong can steal your joy. It’s hard to let that one go.

The anger we hold onto brings us comfort or so we tell ourselves. We think that our anger/bitterness is doing some good because someone is still mad about whatever the other person has said/done. I have a rude awakening for us all……It doesn’t affect the other person, just us.

By holding on to the anger we become bitter towards that person and if held long enough, that comes through in our lives. We take away our own happiness by the anger and bitterness. The other person has no clue you are still upset and furthermore they don’t care.

So, take my advice please, and move on. You are only hurting yourself on this one. Let go of the anger. Do whatever you have to, but please move on.

Holding on to anger and bitterness will drag you down and it really does steal your happiness. Who’s the winner in this case? Answer: the person you are bitter towards. Because you allowed that person who is no longer in your world, consume your world by holding on. Time to move on to bigger and better things, like being happy.

6. Dwelling on the bad: Are you holding onto all the bad stuff that has happened to you? By dwelling on the bad stuff we can’t see the good. We may blame all the bad junk that has happened to us, for the reason we are not happy. Well, my friends I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s not about the bad stuff that’s happened to us, it’s how we handle it now and the decisions we made because of the bad junk.I have to say from experience, dwelling on the bad gets you nowhere quick. Nothing good comes from dwelling.

Learn from the past and move on to the next good thing.

You can’t un-ring a bell. What’s past is past. Don’t dwell on the past or the things you can’t change or control. If you remove the bad stuff, you no longer have blinders on and you are able to see things in better light and see the happy once again.

I realize that I have given some tough love in this post. I know, for me, I need a good swift kick in the butt sometimes in order for me to move on and do/be better.

I love my readers and I only want the best for all of you. Please do not take offense, if this post doesn’t apply to you. I am only trying to help others the best way I know how and sometimes that means tough love. Whatever is stealing your happiness, you are the only one that has the power to get it back. Be courageous and get your happiness back.



I am going to be selfish on this post. I wanted to write down the small things that put a smile on my face or bring me joy.simple flower

Getting a greeting card in the mail. I enjoy knowing someone took the time to pick out the ‘right’ card, bought a stamp and mailed it. That means so much, just because I know someone took the time to think of me.

Listening to music. Taking the time to really enjoy the music I love, helps me de-stress. I listen to 70’s rock when I want to pick myself up from a bad day or if I know singing will help me. When I am thinking about my family or missing a family member, I listen to their music. Music my aunts and uncles sang that they captured on cassettes from 30 years ago. Listening to them brings tears but also a peace that warms my heart because I am so lucky to have their music and I can still hear their voices.

Making dinner for my family. I enjoy cooking. I don’t get to cook as much as I used to since it’s just me that I am cooking for. When I do, I have a stupid grin on my face. I enjoy thinking about the dish I am going to make, taking my time to make the dish as good as possible, and watching them smile as they eat. I enjoy making my family happy.

Looking through pictures. I really love going through my family pictures. I have lost so many of my loved ones and miss them horribly, but seeing their smiling faces in pictures brings back all my childhood memories and the times I shared with each one of them, just makes me feel loved and makes me happy.

Setting outside. Weather I am setting on my patio or at the park. I enjoy my surroundings of the trees, the pond, feeling a breeze against my face, watching folks fish, or watching a ballgame. I also enjoy listening to the sounds that the outdoors offer, such as, the birds, the water rippling on the pond, the crack of a baseball bat hitting a ball, the leaves blowing in the breeze even the sound of a lawn mower. The smells of being outside, especially in the summer is my favorite. I love the smell of fresh cut grass, the smell of a summer rain shower, the smells of a cook out and the blooming flowers. I love watching the sun set and viewing the changing colors of the sky. I really do enjoy the simple things.

Being creative. I am not a ‘crafty’ person but I try. I like creating new meals, writing my blogs and books, fixing something that is broke, making something (craft project), decorating and I enjoy singing too. I’m not good at any of these things but I enjoy trying.

Being organized. I am a control freak and being organized helps me feel I am in control. I enjoy making lists to get things done. It can be a simple grocery list for the week or goals that I am working on. I don’t go anywhere without pen and paper. I enjoy knowing where everything is in my house and everything has its own home. Organization helps me be more efficient and allows me to do more and I really enjoy it.

The above list are items that I enjoy. Please feel free to use my list as reminders, to always look for the simple things to bring you joy.

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I now have Pay-Pal for Book orders

Good afternoon friends,

I have added Pay-Pal to the ‘Books’ tab (top of page).  You can now order a book directly from the website.  I am so excited to offer this option.

If you don’t have an Amazon account or the Kindle app, you can now order directly from me. It’s simple.  Just click on the ‘Book’ tab and click the ‘Buy Now’ button. That will take you directly to Pay-Pal and you just type in the name of the book you would like and add the cost of $3.99 for the book and I will deliver your book directly to your e-mail within 24 hours.

Take a look and get your book today.

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Being Grateful

Being Gratefulgrateful

Being grateful is a matter of perspective. Gratefulness is how we perceive our lives and what we are thankful for. Gratefulness is about the big and very small things that bring us joy and happiness.

We live in a fast paced, instant gratification, isn’t that your job, kind of world. We forget that others have pain and suffering and it’s all about me type of mindset. I too, have fallen into this type of thinking.

I have to say it’s pretty easy to do. By changing my perspective, gave me the opportunity to become a more grateful person.

You too can become a more grateful person. It will change the way you see things and you will be more thankful for even the smallest things. Having a grateful outlook can bring you blessings you have been missing out on and can bring you peace of mind. It can also make you a happier person because you are able to be grateful for the little things.

Here are a few ways to help you to become a grateful person.

STOP: Stop, for just a minute out of your day and think about what you missed. Think about your day and look for things that could have been a happy moment for you. Did you miss the, thank you and smile that the cashier gave you? Did you not see the beautiful sunrise? Did you not notice the light breeze in the air that felt so refreshing? Did you miss that moment when your child just wanted a hug? Did you miss the kindness someone showed you by letting you cut in line?

By taking a minute out of your day will help you see what you missed and will help you practice looking for the things that put a smile on your face. How can having a smile on your face be a bad thing?

Stop thinking everything has to happen today. Stop expecting for the instant fixes. Stop thinking you are owed something. By stopping these expectations, we allow ourselves to see the happiness.

JOURNAL: Writing down what you are grateful for is a way to help you see the things that brought a smile to your face. Writing it down will help you practice seeing things in a new perspective. My favorite part to keeping a journal is, I get to go back and read what made me grateful and that motivates me to always look for the little things.

PATIENCE: Patience allows others to help you and that brings gratefulness to you because of the time and energy the other person invested to help and resolve the issue.

Patience also gives you the opportunity to slow down and see the joy in whatever you are doing. Take that extra 5 minutes with your kids. They will think you are the best parent ever and it allows you to see the happiness in their little faces, which in return you are so grateful for.

Stuck in traffic? Waiting at the doctor’s office? Be patient, the traffic will move and your turn is coming at the doctors. While you are waiting in traffic, listen to some music in the car, roll down your window and allow the sunshine in. At the doctors, take out your smart phone and scroll through your pictures, be thankful you are not at the doctors for anything serious.

Being patient can be hard. By using your time wisely, while waiting, can help you find the gratitude you are looking for.

LITTLE THINGS: It’s the little things that can bring us the most joy. It’s easy to miss or overlook the small things too. By using the three techniques above can help you see the little things.

Seriously, stop and smell the roses. Look at your surroundings, you can always be grateful for the little things.

While you enjoy your coffee walking to work. Be grateful it’s not raining and you didn’t have to wait in line long for your coffee.

Enjoy every hug you give/receive. Some people have a hard time giving/receiving hugs. Be grateful for the ones you get/give. They can mean so much to you and to others.

Setting and listening to the leaves blow on the trees, or the waves of the ocean. These are small things but be grateful you are outside and you are capable of hearing.

Look up. Look at the sky and enjoy the clouds and the colors of God’s canvas or all the stars in the sky. Find joy in the little things.

Enjoy your children. They will not stay little forever. Stop and listen to them laugh and watch them smile.

Spend time with your parents. Be grateful you still have them and by spending time with them shows you love them and appreciate them.

Take a look at your possessions. Be grateful for what you have.

Watch the snow fall. Be grateful that you are someplace warm.

The key to being a grateful person is not taking things for granted. No one ever said to us we were entitled to all we have and where we live. We were taught to work hard to get what we want in life.



Keeping a Joy Journal or Blessing Book

joy journal picKeeping a Joy Journal or Blessing Book

In the past couple of weeks I have been writing about motivation and I hope my suggestions have helped. I would like to stay on this topic but in a different way.

Today I want to talk about keeping a journal, not just an ordinary journal but a journal that you write down your blessings or joys that you had for the day/week/month.

I have kept a Joy Journal for over a year. I may not write in it every day but I do write in it every week. I really enjoy putting down on paper what things gave me joy or things that I have seen that I enjoyed. I have more fun when I go back and read what I wrote. I am reminded of some things I may have forgotten already. Looking back at my journal also keeps me motivated. I am able to see how far I have come in a year and what I have accomplished.

In my journal I have written down some horrible things that have happened during last year as well. After a few days I go back to that awful event and I am able to find a blessing because of the event. I know that may sound bad. But if we are honest with ourselves there is joy or a blessing that comes from something bad, if we are just willing to look for it and not always look at the negative.

*There are different ways to keep your journal. You could use your computer to keep everything on a Word document. This is my preferred method. I make a folder that says: Blessing Book and then use a Word document and title that with the year. I generally keep a notepad nearby so I can write down anything that I see as a blessing. Then I take a few minutes at the end of the week and copy my blessings to the computer file.

*If you like to physically write, you can also buy a nice leather bound journal book or a cheap spiral note book or composition notebook. I know some ladies enjoy making their book pretty. They buy a composition book and then use scrapbooking paper or even wrapping paper and cover the book.

*You can even use your smart phone. Find an app for notes and keep them there. Just make sure to date your blessings. You can transfer them to your computer at any time.

Keep in mind the blessing doesn’t always have to be your blessing. You may witness some sort of act of kindness and that pleases you, or it could be you listening to a child laugh, or your friend told you some great news. That is true unconditional joy my friends. Finding joy in someone else’s happiness is priceless. You are not being selfish with the blessings or joy. It means you are wanting blessings and joy for others.

The point of keeping a Blessing book or Joy journal is to remind ourselves daily to be on the lookout for things that make us smile, warm our hearts, make us feel good about ourselves or even others. It’s also a great habit to get into if you have a tendency to see the negative. This is also a great way to stay motivated. We are constantly looking for the joy or blessing we don’t have time for the negative.

So get out there, look for the joy and be sure to write it down.


New Book-Release

YAY!!!  I am thrilled that my book has been released today. I am an amateur at writing, but I do enjoy writing.

My hopes/dream is that my vessel in helping others is in writing.  I am not a professional and I do not have an actual publisher, editor or any marketing agent to help. It’s just me, learning as I go.

Thanks to everyone for supporting me and my adventure to help others.  

If you want to check out my books, Go to the top of the page and click on the “Books” tab.  You can click on the titles and it will take you directly to the book from Amazon.

Thanks again, Come back tomorrow, I will have a new post.


New Book

Good afternoon my friends. I have some great news. I wanted to let you know that I have published my second book today. It will be released on Amazon within the next 48 hours.
The book is exploring the different types of decision making skills we use everyday.

I will add the link for the book under the “Books” page.

Thanks, Please share with your friends. Keep visiting the site, I will have a new post on Wednesday.