Mother of Necessity

because sometimes, you just have to.

The Day Finally Came

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balloons

This morning (May 19th) at 2:00 am, it happened. The day all parents wait for.

As you know my son lives with me. Last May he moved back home after being away 5 years for college.

Within a month of being back he found a job. YAY!!!! He works 2nd shift. I like to be awake when he comes home so he can talk about his day. I want him to know I am proud of him and that I am there for him. I know he’s 24 but I want to show him I love him and be there even at 2 AM.

This past year has been a transition for both of us. Me, losing my job and him trying to find his place in this world. It’s been tough on both of us.

When I lost my job he was in my corner, cheering me on to do whatever I wanted. He has been my biggest supporter in this new blogging world I’ve entered. He gives me ideas for blogs, and sometimes a blog comes from a conversation we have had. He gives me suggestions to do bigger things to get my name out there.

My son has helped me this past year and all the struggles that has come up. All the while trying to figure out his next step to becoming the man he wants to be.

Before the divorce my son has struggled with a lot of different things. After the divorce his struggles were longer lasting and more important, life struggles. He has gone through anger stages, hate stages, disappointments in others, disappointments with himself and just in general growing pains.

He informed me about 4 weeks ago that he was moving back to the state he went to college. I was surprised but not really. I knew this day would come, that he would leave home for good. I really thought that was going to be last year. He decided to come home instead. Which was great. I love that he is here with me.

When he told me he would be moving at the end of June, I had a bazillion questions for him. Like any other mom, the questions were, where are you going to live, do you have a job there, how are you going to do this without support, on and on and on?

He looked at me and said, “I know I don’t have all the answers, but this is something I have to do. This is something I need to do. I no longer belong in this state.”

Then he followed that up with: “I have to do this by myself, I am asking you not to step in or ask a bunch of questions”. My response was, “Great, I have been let go of 2 jobs in less than a year”. We began to talk about his decision. I have concluded that he is right, my job as a parent is done and my role is changing. I am ready for that new chapter.

He is also right about being here. Where we live is not suited for him. He needs something better. He deserves something better.

I think he is very brave making this decision. I know I couldn’t just pick up without knowing I have a backup plan. I am proud that he is trying to find his way and even making the scary decision to move.

My boy is a man, it’s time for him to leave the nest.

That is something that all parents wait for and dread at the same time, our children coming into their own and leaving home. We could not be more proud and heartbroken at the same time.

But that is NOT the day we truly long for.

The past couple of weeks have been rough for me. Learning to keep my mouth shut and not ask questions about his move. He gave me a list of things that he needs. I have been going to garage sales, flea markets and dollar stores since he sleeps in the morning due to his job.

The reality sets in when you are buying chairs to towels. I am sad but grateful I have the time to do these things for him.

Since I have been gathering things for him to have his own place, I decided to write down all my recipes and instructions on cooking.

When he came home last night (2 AM), I handed him a binder full of recipes and instructions on how-to. I informed him what was inside and he flipped through it and said “cool, thanks”. He then goes to the kitchen to make a sandwich and went upstairs to his room.

That’s when “IT” happened.

After about a minute of him in his room he runs down the stairs gives me a huge hug and says….”YOU’RE AWESOME!!!!”

I just about fell off the couch. In a joking manner I ask him, what do you want? His response is “nothing”. You are a great mom and you need to be told that you are awesome more often.

I cried like a baby. So sweet of him to say those words to me. He continues to tell me that he is grateful that he got to stay with me after the custody battle. Telling me that having me as his mom was the best thing.

He told me, he would have been worse off with his dad and he would never be the person he is today without me as his mom.

The sweetest words a mom (any person) will ever hear, is a true heartfelt “You’re Awesome”.

I realize some parents never hear those words from their kids. For that, I will say, You Are Awesome. You raised your kids and they are decent people. Great job. That’s a lot of work and you deserve the praise.

Tell me your defining moment when you realized all your hard work paid off.

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2 thoughts on “The Day Finally Came

  1. I love this post! It’s a hard place to be…balancing roles as parent and friend. Knowing when to push, when to step back. I’m seeing that so much as I’ve got two now in college. They are moving “away” == from dependence, my authority, etc. But they are moving “to” independence, a better appreciation for our ‘advice’, and a life of their own that is accountable in their own way to God and the reality of decisions and life! It’s a hard place to be….but a good place ! It’s what we’ve been working toward since day one! and we will NEVER stop being “MOM!” === and AWESOME Mom!

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    • I’m glad you enjoyed the post. I only have the one kid and my heart is breaking. I can’t imagine doing this with 2 kids at the same time. Kudos to you or being such a strong Mom. We must have done some things right. Are kids are seeking their paths as adults. It’s amazing to watch.
      It’s sad that our roles as Mom is changing, but exciting at the same time. We have raised our kids to the best of our abilities and now it’s up to them.
      Stay strong, we will get through the tough stuff. Our reward is watching them become the best adults they can be.

      Like

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