Mother of Necessity

because sometimes, you just have to.


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Today is a new day….I will be glad and rejoice in it

Photo by: Mother Of Necessity

Photo by: Mother Of Necessity

Have you ever had one of those days/weeks where you feel overwhelmed? Not because things are awful or something bad happened but because you just feel that way.

I know that feeling too. It’s tough to pinpoint what your body/mind is telling us.

Are we stressing over a job or the lack there of? Are we worried about our parents/children or loved ones? Are we financially strapped? Are we too focused on our own careers? Are we stressing over things we can’t control?  Is life getting in the way of our joy? Are we letting the little flaws of life get to us?

These are my questions I have been asking myself lately. The simple response is: “YES”. I know I am not alone in this and I know everyone has had there day of feeling overwhelmed.

I have come to the conclusion that it’s ok to feel overwhelmed (on occasion) but it’s not ok to focus on it. The feeling of being overwhelmed is just our body and minds letting us know that we need to slow down and enjoy the moment or day.

You know the saying: Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s true. It’s the little things that can either drive us crazy or we can enjoy the little things that life gives us.

We have a choice: Either dwell in the things that overwhelm us or find the joy.

I am choosing to find the joy and not let the feelings overwhelm me.

I am going to start a new practice.  This is my plan, because I always have a plan or need a plan.

First:  When I wake up I am going to list 3 things I am thankful/grateful for.

Second: In the afternoon I am going to list 3 things that make me happy.

Third: Before I go to bed I am going to list 3 things that brought a smile to my face that day.

I will use these as reminders that all is not lost and there is joy in my day. If I can find joy, even from the smallest thing, then I had a good day. This should help my stress level and hopefully I will not have that overwhelming feeling again. Or at least not so much.

There is a Bible verse that I remember as a kid. There is even a song about it. My cousin reminded me of this verse/song and I think it resonates for this post.

Psalms 118:24 – This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

It’s a simple verse but has a huge impact. We need these reminders that what we are going through is temporary and things will always look different in the morning.

As one of my Aunts told her children: “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning”.

Tomorrow is a new day with new choices. Let’s all rejoice and be glad for a new day.

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My Journey: Job Searching-Waiting

waitingI am not a patient person. This past year I have been working on this issue but it seems the harder I try to be patient the more stress I go through. I guess I’m going about this wrong.

This journey for the past couple of months has taken its toll on me with all the waiting I have done.

Waiting on myself to be prepared to look for a job.

Waiting on a great website to start my job search.

Waiting on the mail to send my resumes.

Waiting on someone to get back with me to tell me I have been declined for the position.

Waiting on the results of an assessment that took 2 hours to complete.

Waiting on e-mails to tell me I have a phone interview.

Waiting for those calls to come in.

Waiting on the next call or e-mail to invite me for an interview.

Waiting in the lobby for that interview.

Waiting for the next phone call or e-mail to share some good news. (I hope)

Waiting on myself not go insane with all this waiting.

Waiting to start a new job.

You would think that I would be an expert by now from all the waiting. I’m not. I’m more anxious than ever.

I think I’m ready for a new start, new opportunities, and new work life. I have enjoyed my time off from work and have learned so much about myself, but money is in the driver’s seat right now.

My journey right now is once again learning to be patient and wait for things to come. I just hope I am not in a rubber room, rocking back and forth before I get that call saying, ”Congratulations, you are now a new employee at XYZ Company”.  Time will tell.

I know this journey that I am on is teaching more lessons than I thought and that well and good. We all can always use more education. I am failing in this class called “Waiting”. It is kicking my butt.

I know the rules and have read the syllabus. I have practiced my skills every day and yet here I sit waiting on the next thing and it’s driving me crazy.
I am a work in progress and hopefully by the end of this journey I will be more patient than when I started.


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The Kid

 

The Kid at 18 months

The Kid at 18 months

I know today is not my normal day to post, But this week is special.

This week is my son’s 25th Birthday. There is no way I have a kid that is that old. Isn’t it a parent’s right to embarrass them? He has no idea I am writing about him. I will have him read this after I post. This way he has no say in what I write. I know…I’m a mean mom.

I know every parent says they have the best kids “EVER”, I am no exception. I have the BESTEST KID EVER!!!!

It’s just been the kid and I for a very long time. He has always been my biggest cheerleader. He is my son and I am proud to say he is my friend too.

We can chat for hours about nothing or about serious topics. We don’t always share the same views but I love that he doesn’t conform to what I think. (Most of the time)

He has a beautiful mind and he blows me away with his ideas. I would consider him an “idea man”. He has some great theories on how to rebuild our public school system, which needs some work in my opinion. He was ideas on new products and even new fuels.

I am his sounding board. He comes to me and shares his ideas, and I am the one that tells him his idea won’t work or challenge him to prove to me why the idea would work. We make a good team. His idea may be in the clouds and I am the naysayer.  You never know if one of those crazy ideas or theories will come into play some day. I’m hoping……he’s my retirement program.

Over the years we have had some ups and downs, but he continues to love his mom. He is so respectful towards me. He may not like me at times but he has never disrespected me. I must have done something right.

The Kid at 4

The Kid at 4

He is an old soul. When he was 4 he looked like a little man. He has always asked the hard questions and wanted the big answers. He never settled for the simple version that you can tell most kids.

At the age of 3 we were in the car having a nice summer Sunday drive and he asked me…How do you pray? I simply responded by saying, “you just talk to God like you do with anyone”. Thinking this would be a good enough answer for a 3 year old. Before I knew what was going on. He is yelling “HEY GOD” out the back window of the car at a stop light in town with about 20 people at a nearby ice cream shop.

I turn around and ask him what he is doing and without hesitation he responds…”I’m just making sure God hears me since He’s in heaven”. 

That’s when I knew my hand were going to be full for a long time and I needed to provide more concise answers to his questions. 

You know how most kids go through the “why” stage.  Where they are always asking why to everything you say or tell them. Well my son went through the “What’s that” stage for almost 2 years. This stage started when he could first put 2 words together. These were his first two words.

If I didn’t respond to his question he would ask “what’s that” till I gave him the answer he was looking for. This stage drove me nuts. It didn’t matter what it was, he HAD to know.  If he saw a real cow he would ask “what’s that”. If I was holding a piece of paper, I got the question. I couldn’t respond just by telling him it was paper. I had to tell him what color the paper was, what was on the paper, if the paper was for him or until he was satisfied with my response.

Thank goodness that was a phase and I no longer have to answer that question. I think I used up all my answers. He is still inquisitive but now he does his own research and I don’t have to hear….What’s That? (I kind of miss it)

The Kid at 16

The Kid at 16

He is a wonderful kid. I have never had to worry that he was hanging out with the wrong friends. Never had to worry when he was coming home or who he was talking to on the phone.

I always knew where he was and knew every friend he had. I didn’t even have to give him a curfew. He was always home at a reasonable time.

My kid is bright, inquisitive, respectful, caring, sweet, kind and handsome.

We lived a few blocks from an Aunt. He would go visit with her after school. They would talk and eat Popsicles. Our Aunt was sick and lived by herself. The kid loved his aunt so much that at 12-13 year old he would take the time and go visit with her because he wanted to. Not because I made him or even suggested. He did this on his own. I have to say, that is one of the sweetest things he has done.

He is an American history buff. He can talk your ear off about all the wars.

The kid likes meteorology. He can tell you when it’s going to rain just by looking at the clouds.

 He’s good at math. He passed a calculus course in college and never had a class in high school.

He likes to learn things on his own. He will study a topic for hours just to learn all he can. Not because he has too, but because he likes learning.

He loves physics. Now that’s a subject that he always has to explain to me.

He reads poetry to relax. He likes Emily Dickinson, Edger Allen Poe and Walt Whitman.

He loves cars. He can tell you almost every make/model and year of any car. His favorites are muscle cars from the 70’s. He has been a car fan since he was 10 months old.

He loves music. He listens to almost anything from classical to thrash. He’s not a fan of opera or rap.

I know I’m bragging but this will probably be the last time I will be able to do this in public. Because he’s going to hate me after I post this.

I have to say I am a lucky mom to have such a wonderful kid. I tell people God took pity upon me when He gave me The Kid. I think God looked down on me and thought….She isn’t the brightest crayon in the box, let me give her a good kid that won’t cause too many problems.

Whatever the reason, I am grateful and overly blessed to be this kid’s mom.

He is the best thing I have ever done with my life. He is constantly teaching me things and inspires me to be better. I love every minute of being your mom. I would do it all again, a thousand times over.

Thanks Kid for being such a great son. I will always be proud of you. I will always be in your corner.

I hope this year is your most fulfilling and successful year yet. Happy Birthday, Bud.

Hey!! Guess what?  Love you.  (Inside joke)

The Kid and me 2014

The Kid and me 2014


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Music Monday: Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings

Photo by: carnageandculture.blogspot.com

Photo by: carnageandculture.blogspot.com

(Wikipedia) Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings are an American funk/soul band signed to Daptone Records. They are spearheads of a revivalist movement that aims to capture the essence of funk/soul music as it was at its height in the mid-1960’s to mid-1970’s. Part of the way this is achieved is to shun modern digital recording methods in favor of using traditional analog recording equipment. In December 2014, the band was nominated for their first Grammy, in the Best R&B Album of the Year category for Give The People What They Want.

Some great music to start your week off. If you don’t know who Sharon Jones is, please listen. She will blow your mind. She has a natural gift of the late 60’s Motown/funk and soul. Pure magic.

Have a great week and remember to look for the little things that bring a smile to your face.

100 Days 100 Nights

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ouI5KcyHfE


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Mediocrity = Expert

mediocrityOver the past year I have been looking at my life. I have come to the conclusion that I am just a mediocre girl.  Nothing special about me. I don’t stand out and I’m sure I’m not the first person people think of.

In high school I had average grades.  Playing sports I was an average softball and volleyball player. I was an average singer in choir. I never stood out or excelled in anything.

As an adult, I have held entry level positions and two tiny management positions. I am an average parent with no great skills. I’m an average daughter. I was an average wife. A not so great sister at times. I’m not the greatest cook.

I have no special skills in my bag of tricks. I fly by the seat of my pants to get things done. I make more mistakes than make the right decisions. I’m not a great listener. I need to put my listening ears on more often.

I am a below average photographer. A not so good writer/blogger. My creative mind is limited. Generally a one hit wonder. My humor is sarcastic and most of the time people don’t get the joke.

The good part is I have figured out that I don’t give up easily. I may be mediocre but I am not a quitter. I keep striving to be/do better.

I may have mediocre skills but they get the job done.  I have figured out that I am ok with my mediocrity. It seems to work for me.

They say it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert in a skill. Let’s do the math:

10,000 hours to become an expert at a skill.  That’s 40 hours per week multiplied by 52 weeks and you have 2,080 hours per year.  Take the 10,000 hours and divide that by 2,080 hours and you have 4.8 years. In five years you can be a professional or an expert at a skill.

If I follow this rule, I am an expert at a few things.

I am an expert at customer service. Almost 30 years of experience

I am an expert at parenting. 25 years of experience

I am an expert at sarcasm. 40 + years of experience

I am an expert at cooking. 35 years of experience

I am an expert at doing laundry. 35 year of experience

I am an expert at cleaning. 35 years of experience

I am an expert at solving problems. 40 years of experience

I am an expert at making lists. 35 + years of experience and so on.

I am not listing these things to brag but to prove a point. Experience in life can make any of us an expert at a skill as long as we don’t give up.

In 5-6 more years I will be an expert in blogging and photography. I’m not quitting. I love these 2 skills. Practice makes perfect or at least an expert.

It’s ok to be mediocre but strive to be/do better and never give up.

Oh and by the way…I don’t think I’m all that average. I am too much of a goober to be average. My uniqueness makes me either below average or a little above average just because I am different.

You are not mediocre either. You are unique too and being unique is NOT mediocre. We may see ourselves as being the average ‘Joe’ but we are not. What makes mediocrity is never striving to be/do better.

Don’t sell yourself short. Just like I did. We are above average to say the least all because we won’t give up and quit.

 

 


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My Journey: Job Searching- Face To Face Interviews

interview

 

In the last post I had for my job search included phone interviews. Which was a new process for me to go through. The calls went well and I was invited to have face to face interviews with both companies.

I was very excited for this step. This is something I am sort of comfortable with. I know the routine and am prepared for the ‘company’ questions….or so I thought.

Do you remember the young man that I spoke about with the phone interviews…you know the one that sounded like Eeyore. My appointment was for 5:00 pm. I showed up early and realized that it is a job fair.

I couldn’t believe that after all the hoops I jumped through to get this interview, I am setting at a job fair.

I am prepared for my face to face interview, not mentally prepared to go through the online assessments again and to fill out yet another application.

I finally get to a one on one with a real person. This is when I realized that this is NOT the company for me.

They asked me questions that had nothing to do with my work history, their company or the position. I have already passed their personality, critical thinking, and IQ assessments. There was no need to continue on that path of questioning.

The company is almost a 2 hour drive one way. They pay was descent and they had good benefits. But I just can’t bring myself to work for a company that is redundant in their hiring process and is not truthful. (No one informed me, my interview process would be a job fair). That tells me it’s even a bigger issue in house. I can’t compensate for the long commute. I would have no free time.

I would have to move to a bigger city and pay higher rent for a smaller place just to make ends meet.

There were too many bad things about this company. I just don’t feel good taking a job there.

I have been declined for other jobs, but this is the first one I have turned down. I feel relived and I know it was the right decision for me.

The second interview was a couple of days later. I am totally prepared for anything on this interview.

I arrive 15 minutes early and sign in. I find a seat and start to review my notes about the company and review my resume. A young woman sat across from me and she engaged me with some questions. At first I thought maybe this is their process to meet me and see what I am like.

I found out she was interviewing for a position and has been an employee for the past 6 years.  This is good for me. It tells me this company likes to hire within. It gave me a chance to ask her questions too. I liked what she was telling me.

A gentleman came to the door and called my name.  Here we go. Time to put on my game face.

The gentleman led me down a hallway into an office where another woman greeted me.

They wasted no time getting started with their questions. Some questions were routine and others not so much. Great questions and they were related to the job.

I was able to show my personality a little bit and they were laughing with me. I was given the opportunity to shine over my work knowledge and they gave me a chance to impress them.

Now that’s how an interview is supposed to go.

At the end, I got the impression they liked me. I made them laugh and they both had genuine smiles on their faces.

I was very comfortable in this interview. It’s been 14 years since I have had a face to face interview. Very scary and intimidating.

I like this company a lot. I would be doing something completely different than customer service. I would only have a 30 minute commute one way. I wouldn’t have to work weekends. Descent benefits. Insurance starts on day one. The down side is, the pay. It’s just not quite there.

I have some thinking to do. But I am grateful for the learning journey I have been on lately. I am learning new things about myself and what is important to me.

The journey continues till I have a job. Wish me luck.


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Music Monday: Doobie Brothers

Doobie Brothers

Here’s a great group from the 70’s.

Have a great Monday and enjoy the rest of your week.

Doobie Brother: Spirit:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6HeEKp-F74&feature=youtu.be