Mother of Necessity

because sometimes, you just have to.

My Journey: New Job-Fitting In

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The past few weeks have been tough ones for me. I started a new job, helped with our family Thanksgiving dinner, we had a death in the family, and I helped organized and cook for the funeral lunch.

The new job has been hard enough for me to deal with let alone all the other things going on.

I am not used to getting up so early. Not working for a year had my sleeping habits skewed. Buying clothes and going through that torment was rough.

friends

Now trying to fit in at a new company. This has turned out to be a challenge for me. I am not used to that, in the past I have been able to make at least one connection and made a friend by the 2nd day.

This has not been the case this time around. I have been struggling trying to make new friends. I know I am a goober and have my own unique ways. But really??? Still no connections. I think I have lost my touch.

The company I am working for is one of the most different and odd places I have ever been in.  There are no cliques. Everyone pretty much keeps to themselves. It took 5 days before I heard laughter in the office. That just blows my mind.

I know this is a workplace, but come on….no laughing? Even outside where the smokers gather…no one talks to each other.  Just weird.

I have never been in an office setting where there is silence and you can hear every cough, sneeze and phone conversation. Did I mention this office holds around 100 people?

I have been trying to make friends by jumping into light conversations with a joke but they seem to ignore me. I have introduced myself to over 50 people and I get nothing in return.

I was beginning to get paranoid, thinking they don’t want to have anything to do with the ‘fat’ girl or the old woman. Yes, I am the oldest person on my team. Even my 3 supervisors could be my children. I was thinking maybe I was the smelly kid in the classroom or my attire didn’t fit in.

I know none of those are true. I am not the only ’big’ person there, I am not the oldest person in the facility, my clothes are just as nice as everyone else’s and I shower every morning.

What am I doing wrong? I may not be the most social individual but I can carry on a conversation.

Today something happened. I was setting with one of my team members shadowing her. We began to talk and she was sharing all kinds of information about her family and baby. I let her do all the talking and didn’t share one piece of personal information.

What I did though was share my personality as she spoke. I made sarcastic comments that directed back to my behavior and listened carefully to her stories and asked questions.

After a few hours setting with her, one of our team members jumps into the conversation. He looks me in the eye and says…..Can I ask you a person question? I said, sure just ask long as it’s not my weight. We all laughed at that one.

He asked me how old I was. I responded honestly. He had a big grin on his face and said, thank goodness, I am no longer the ‘old man’ on the team, we now have an old lady. I had to laugh. I know how he feels.

That was that. I made 2 friends within minutes all because I gave them the opportunity to share with me.

I have been doubting my choice by accepting the job offer after the past couple of weeks. But now, I think I will hang in there a little longer to see where this weird ride takes me.

You are never too old to learn how to make friends.

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6 thoughts on “My Journey: New Job-Fitting In

  1. Many people will listen to a person but it is rare the person who actually hears what the other person is saying (or maybe not saying). Not trying to solve their problems, just letting them say something out loud. I have no doubt you will do well. 🙂

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    • Thank you for the vote of confidence. Sometimes we just need to talk and be heard. I am so thankful for the people I have in my world that allow me to talk and be heard. I hope you have those special people in your world too.

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  2. Truly the way to anyone’s heart is to let them talk about themselves! People are dying to be heard! Hang in there!

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    • You are right. People are craving to be heard. And it’s hard to find a person to really value a conversation, even if it is not your cup of tea. Being polite goes a long way. Each day is a new day…..I will be glad and rejoice in it.

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  3. I am very sorry for your loss.

    Give yourself time to adjust. Even if you feel a bit like an outcast for a while or even indefinitely, financially you are doing the BEST you can and that’s something you should be PROUD of. 🙂 Plus, your old habits will normalize before you know it! Good jobs are hard to find! Congrats!!!

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    • Thank you. Great words of encouragement. I know things will get better. I am just a little impatient. You are so right, good jobs are hard to find. I will stick with this one , unless something else comes ups. You are very sweet, thanks again for the kind words.

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