Mother of Necessity

because sometimes, you just have to.


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My Journey: Mom and Dad – The Little Things

the little things

You don’t realize how important the little things mean till you watch someone else find joy, peace or pleasure from those little things.

Watching my mom during her hospital stay for the last three weeks was tough. The first few days were the hardest for all of us.

The little things, like watching Mom brush her teeth for the first time after 2 days in bed. She gave me a nice smile and an AHHH!!! I know that had too feel good even though she was still confused and agitated at the time.

My sister doing mom’s hair. That gave her a few minutes of contentment. Mom is always concerned about her hair. My sister did a great job helping mom feel better after her hair was combed, teased and fixed the way she likes it.

Getting a bath. Even if it’s not a real bath. Just having someone clean you up and give you a new gown to sleep in. The nurse was so loving during that time and I could see mom relax a little.

Resting on clean sheets. We all know how nice it is to crawl into a bed with clean sheets. Mom would have a few minutes of peace whenever the nurses or techs changed her bed.

Giving Dad a break from the hospital and seeing his smile when he walked back in the room.

I never knew how much pleasure could come from someone eating ice cream or whipped cream. My mom has a sweet tooth. She eat sweets over any food you put in front of her.

Through her confused state Mom could not order food for herself. We always ordered something sweet, fruits, Jell-O with whipped cream and/or ice cream. She loved the fruits but when we ordered Jell-O with the whipped cream, she would reach for that first, scoop off a spoonful of whipped cream and you could watch her face relax and she would be happy. She did the same thing with the ice cream.

Finally after days of restlessness watching my mom find a comfortable spot on the bed, cover her head with a fuzzy blanket and fall asleep. There is nothing like finding that right position and sleeping soundly. Having a peaceful sleep does the body good.

Hearing your mom snore. That brought all of us peace and joy. Knowing mom was getting the rest she needed was fantastic. We would stop worrying for a while and she was resting peacefully.

Having someone hold your hand and pray for you. Anytime there was a prayer we all held hands and I could see my mom relax a little. If you were holding her hand she would start out with a good grip but by the end her grip had loosened and her body would relax during the prayer.

Lip balm brought relief to mom. If you have ever been in the hospital, you know lip balm is a must. For whatever reason your lips get chapped. We did have to go through several lip balms to find the right one for her. Once we did, she was happy and she felt better not having chapped lips.

Having a pillow and fuzzy blanket from home. We all sleep better in our own bed. When you can’t sleep at home you bring your pillow and blanket with you. It’s like watching a sleeping baby. It brought a smile to my face knowing my mom was comfortable.

The little things are so important, they may not seem like much at the time but if you are sick those little things add up.

***Mom is finally home from the hospital and physical therapy. She is doing better. There’s nothing like the comfort of your own bed and relaxing in your favorite chair. Being surrounded by your loved ones and setting in the house that you worked so hard to make a home.

I am so thankful this little ordeal is over and Mom is back home. Thank you all so much for your love, support and understanding.


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My Journey: Mom and Dad – Blessings

blessingsAs Mom’s hospital stay began to get better I was able to look at the week and reflect on the blessings we had.

I am thankful she fell. If she would not have fallen we would not have known that her blood pressure would bottom out when she stood. This could have caused more damage than the fall or worse it could have killed her. So, yes, I am thankful she fell so the doctors could find the problem and fix it.

We were blessed with some good doctors in the ER. Dr. Padgett was the one that decided she needed to stay overnight. If it weren’t for him, Mom would have come home and maybe fallen again and we would have never known about the blood pressure issue or her being dehydrated.

We were blessed with some amazing nurses and technicians. These ladies were God sent. They were so attentive to mom and my family.

The first tech we had, Trish went to the same church that long time family friends attend. She prayed for my mom right there in the room. Trish prayed several times with our family as she attended to Mom.

The night nurse, Melissa was fantastic. She was the nurse on duty when I spent the night with mom. We ran her to death. Melissa was in Mom’s room every 30 minutes making sure everything was ok, trying to settle mom down or taking mom to the bathroom. Melissa did this with a smile and had the patience like none other.

Hanna, Sue, Alice, Amber, Angela, Jenny and Taylor were all amazing. Taking care of Mom and even us. They all went above the call of duty. My family was blessed to have such a great team of care givers. Not one nurse or tech was unpleasant. They all walked into the room with a smile on their face and treated Mom like a queen.

I was blessed to meet the ‘environmentalist’, Martina. She came in to clean Mom’s room. She and I had a nice chat. I discovered that she missed Church Sunday morning because she switched shifts to help a co-worker. I said I missed Church too. She asked why mom was there. I shared our story. She cried with me and asked if she could pray for us. I gladly said ‘yes’. Martina mentioned that she would add Mom to her church prayer list.

We are blessed to have such a great family. So many calling to check on Mom. A lot of emails have been sent with their concerns and prayers. Many of them coming to the hospital to visit mom and to check on us.

My folks are blessed with great friends. Many calling almost every day to check on both of them.

Blessed that my folks church family is so supportive and for the continuous prayers.

We are blessed with the jobs my siblings and I have, that allowed us to stay with Mom anytime we needed to.

There have been so many people involved over the past week that we were blessed with. I know I am not remembering all of them. If I left anyone out, just know you have been a blessing to me and my family.

I am blessed to have readers like you that support me and show your love and understanding with likes and comments.

I am humbled by the out-pouring love, concern and prayers for my family.


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40 Things Money Can’t Buy

It’s been another busy week. As I am finally settling down to relax, my mind shifts to my surroundings and I think of all the money I have spent on ‘stuff’. Stuff that really has no other purpose than to make my home feel aesthetically pleasing.

I look around and realize that most of the “stuff” I have I don’t need. I can live without the mirror in the hall, I don’t have to have a picture/photo on every wall. I really don’t need all these trinkets/knickknacks on every shelf. I don’t even need the shelf.

No Money

This made me think of things that I don’t spend money on and how much joy I have by NOT spending money on “stuff”.

  1. Feeling the warmth of the sun on my face.
  2. Listening to the leaves blow on the trees
  3. Seeing “The Kid” smile
  4. Spending time with my mom and dad
  5. Listening to dad tell a funny story
  6. Listening to mom talk about her siblings
  7. Laughing with my sister
  8. Listening to music with my brother
  9. Seeing a beautiful sunset
  10. Having a great conversation with one of my cousins
  11. Learning something new
  12. Spending time in prayer
  13. Watching my great nephew play with his Papaw
  14. Watching the ducks/geese play at our local park
  15. Sharing a meal with a loved one
  16. Accomplishing a task  
  17. Helping my neighbor with a chore
  18. Opening up the windows and doors on a beautiful spring day
  19. The smell of a freshly cut lawn
  20. Watching the success of my niece and nephew
  21. Listening to my Mom’s siblings sing from old recordings
  22. Hearing a great sermon preached
  23. Taking a long hot shower
  24. Going through old photos
  25. Singing, even though I sound terrible
  26. Dancing in the kitchen with “the Kid”
  27. Making my mom laugh
  28. A good night’s rest
  29. A good day’s work
  30. People watching
  31. Making my “To-do” lists for the week
  32. Quiet time to reflect
  33. Taking a drive…..Yes, I know I spent money on the gas.
  34. Taking photos on my drive
  35. Taking a walk
  36. Writing a blog
  37. Seeing my family having fun and making memories
  38. Getting organized
  39. Listening to music
  40. Being surrounded by God’s creations.

As I write this, my house is open, the sun is shining through. I hear cyclist on the bike path, children playing on my street. A soft cool breeze is blowing through the house. I smell someone grilling out for the first time this year. I also smell one of my neighbors baking a cake or cookies. I hear “The Kid” laughing in his room while he plays an on-line game.

I have heard a great sermon and listened to some great music. I have made mom laugh today. I have achieved a few tasks and now off to fix food for my loved ones.

Could my day be any better?  I don’t think so. And I didn’t spend a penny. I have had a full enriched, joyful day. The best part, it’s not over yet.

How do you find your joy without spending any money?


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My Journey: Mom and Dad – Music At Home

To set the stage: As most of you know my mom, her brothers and sisters sang in church or whenever there was 2 or more of them everywhere they went. I grew up listening to my Aunts and Uncles singing, in their homes to us kids (cousins) and in church. We were surrounded by music.  I loved it.

When my Aunts and Uncles were sick in the hospital, nursing home or at home a few of them would gather and sing to the ailing one. This brought joy to all that was in attendance. It brought peace and joy to the one in bed. It brought comfort to the ones singing and joy to the ones listening. It was a beautiful, inspirational, moving and heartfelt moment.

A couple of weeks ago Dad had an appointment and needed someone to set with Mom. None of us kids could do it since it was during the day and we were all working. Dad called a family friend from their church, Ms. Rhonda. She graciously accepted the invitation to be with Mom a few hours.

Mom and Ms. Rhonda shared a lovely visit but Ms. Rhonda went above the call of duty. From her visit she walked away with a request my mom had and took on that challenge. My mom told Ms. Rhonda that see wanted someone to come sing to her. Within hours of their visit Ms. Rhonda was on the phone contacting the Dye family. You remember the Dye’s? I featured Daniel a couple of Mondays ago.

Shortly after the call, I have Amy reaching out to me asking what Mom’s favorite hymns are. Amy and I chatted a few minutes and I met up with her a couple of days later to share my mom’s family music with her and provide her a list of songs.

Within 24 hours of our meeting, 6 Dye family members were at Mom and Dad’s house singing for Mom. That’s right, I said 24 hours. The Dye’s prepared 7 songs and learned a new song within those 24 hours. This family is amazing to say the least.

The Dye’s visited for a while, shared some stories and listened to a few stories as well. We all laughed and even cried. They were there for about an hour but what an uplifting, spiritual moving visit it was.

The Dye family singing for Mom

The Dye family singing for Mom

I am forever grateful for Ms. Rhonda making that phone call and for the Dye family excepting the challenge. You all are a gift from God and my little family is forever blessed to know you.

Thank you Ms. Rhonda for getting the ball rolling and for taking the time to spend with my Mom. You are a sweetheart and a true servant of God. If it weren’t for you our family would not have had such a special visit and a wonderful spiritual uplifting.

Thank you Dye family. Thank you for bringing joy and music into my mom’s home. You gave her something our family could not. That was a family singing to someone that is sick. Since my mom no longer has her sisters to sing to her and there are only 2 brothers left, it’s hard to have them sing to her. You warmed her heart with song. Thank you for that. Thank you for the kind words and loving my family.

I want to thank the Dye family for allowing me to record their visit and allowing me to share this story and music on my blog.

Here are few songs The Dye’s sang for mom. I hope you enjoy.

https://soundcloud.com/motherofnecessity/id-rather-have-jesushttps://soundcloud.com/motherofnecessity/blessed-assurance-this-is-my-storyhttps://soundcloud.com/motherofnecessity/the-sun-will-rise

 


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Taking a Breath

time outWith so much going on lately I decided to just set and take a breath. I needed to reflect on….. Well, everything.

The past few months have been a wild ride. I started a new job, getting adjusted to job, there was a death in the family, Mom and all her health struggles, “The Kid” and all his indecisiveness, unfinished projects and this roller coaster ride of emotions. It’s been overwhelming to say the least.

I realize that what is on my plate most people can slide on by without missing a beat. I do not have that type of personality. I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders by choice. I don’t know why but I do. So here I am…Needing that minute to catch up and catch my breath.

I needed to get some perspective, grieve, get caught up and just breathe for a few minutes.

The past few days have been good. I have been able to get a few projects done, started a new project. I gave myself the opportunity to grieve for my uncle and really think about what he had done for me and the family. I had a great conversation with “The Kid” that was long overdue. I am getting more comfortable with the job.

I need to practice what I preach more often. I forgot to reflect on everyday and find the joy in each moment. I was being selfish and only thinking about what I was feeling or doing. I was having a pity party for myself. That is no place to be when you have so much going on. You forget about the little things and focus on the weight you are carrying.

That is not good for anyone. We all need to reflect and take a moment to breathe through the junk so we can find some peace in the crazy around us. 

Once I began to settle into my reflections I realized that I had missed a few blessings this week.

Mom, my sister and I had a great visit the other day. All 3 of us laughed till we cried. I hadn’t seen mom do that in years.  It was a sweet moment to watch and be a part of. It warmed my heart listening to my mom, my sister and I joke around, laugh and have a fun time. I’m going to miss that.

I had a few cousins and some family friends check in on me, just to see how I was doing. What a blessing to have people care for you that they take the time to show you how much.

My new friend at work has been very supportive. She listens to me while I share stories about my family and laughs with me at our goofiness. She is a sweet heart. What a blessing to have a new friend.

What a blessing to have one of my fellow bloggers reach out with such kind, loving words of encouragement. Thank you nopassingfancy.  Check out her blog at…….. https://nopassingfancy.wordpress.com/. 

I am hoping and praying that this week coming up I will be able to stop, take a breath and reflect on the good moments and not hold onto the heaviness of my emotions.

I encourage you to join me on taking a breath to enjoy the things around you.


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My Journey: Mom & Dad-Accepting

hugs

 

Onto the next journey which has already been in motion for a while. That’s the journey I am on with my parents.

As we know, when our parents get older the roles can be reversed and we begin to care for them instead of them caring for us.

If you have read my blogs about my folks you know that Dad is a heart patient and Mom has stage 4 Cirrhosis of the liver (non-alcoholic) and a heart patient. Both are in their 70’s, their health is declining and things are getting harder for them to do.

It’s sad to watch such strong, independent, self-assured, and capable individuals decline. Even if it’s just a little bit and one thing at a time.

My parents have always done things on their own. They have remodeled their home, built a garage, taken care of their property, repaired things around their home, planted gardens, raised 3 kids, taken care of 3 grandkids, helped others, worked in their church and have always been the ones called upon for assistance. My parents have been there for so many.

Now the shoe is on the other foot. Now my parents are the ones needing assistance. Granted they are still very capable of doing so many things, but need some help doing others.

As their child I am heartbroken for them. I know neither one of them want to relinquish their independence or admit that they need help sometimes. It has got to be difficult to ask for help when just a year ago they were capable. What a difference a year makes.

I can only imagine their own struggles they have. They say growing old is not for the weak. I am beginning to understand that statement more and more each day.

This journey I am on with my parents will be tough and heart wrenching. The one thing I am sure of is, I will not regret going on this ride. There have been rides that I have taken in the past and regret but this will not be one of them.

With their permission I will be sharing this journey we are on. Granted most of the posts will be about my journey and sharing a glimpse of theirs. I am not looking for sympathy or kudos. I just thought this would be a good outlet for me and maybe a way to help others that may have to jump on the same type of ride.

 Stage #1 (for me)-Accepting the fact that my parents are not invincible. As children and even adults we want to believe that our parents will be with us forever. The reality is most likely they will not.

Accepting that they need your help. I didn’t want to help because I was holding onto my parents were invincible. If I helped then I had to let go of the dream that they would never perish.

Accepting that my own personal priorities will change. My folks come first and everything else is second.

Accepting that my role as a daughter has changed and will continue to change.

Accepting the new emotional roller coaster ride I am on.

Accepting the reality that they are very sick.

Accepting responsibilities that my folks bestow upon me with grace and love.

Accepting hugs out of the blue.  

Accepting the blessing that will come from this journey.

Yes, I did say, “blessings” I know there will be because I have already had a few.
For right now it’s learning to accept whatever is thrown at us.

I know for me, I will do my hardest to find the blessings even in the emotional craziness that may consume me. I will do my best to accept whatever roadblock, downfall, bad day, funny moments, quite times and quality time I have left with my parents.

Sorry this post is not the most positive, I will work on that. I will do my best to keep you updated once a week on this new journey.

Please feel free to comment or share your journey with me.


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Music Monday: Gordon Mote

Photo by: gaither.com

Photo by: gaither.com

I was planning on doing my family’s favorite music this month. But you know the past week has been a challenge. So here’s one of my Mom’s favorite songs. I hope you enjoy.

Reminder: Look for the little things in your day that bring you joy. Call you mom/Dad and give them big hugs.

Mom’s favorite: Gordon Mote- Mercy Walked In  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShVKTFS4CSs