Mother of Necessity

because sometimes, you just have to.


My Journey: New Job-17 Blessings


The job is going good. Still very slow progress in the actual ‘doing’ my job. But it’s getting better.

This may not be my long-term career and I am ok with that. But while I am here I have to say I am blessed. Here are my blessings:

  1. Slow progress is a good thing. Slow and steady wins the race and it gives me time to really learn the job and shine.
  2. No Stress: I walk out the office door and the job stays there. No a lot of people can say that.
  3. It’s paying the bills. May not have any extra but I am blessed to have my needs met.
  4. Not a big commute. I drive less than 30 minutes one way and only on the freeway for 2 miles. Got to love that.
  5. Close to home and family.
  6. No weekends. This is the first job I have had that started out with no weekend work.
  7. The hours are great. Normal working hours during the day.
  8. Medical benefits. They may not be great but they get the job done.
  9. Attire: Dress casual. I couldn’t afford a brand new wardrobe, but was able to afford the clothes I needed.
  10. No contact with the everyday public.  That’s something new for me. Kind of like it.
  11. No more customer service phone calls with crazy people.
  12. Vacation time already started. I didn’t have to wait 6 months to a year to have time off.
  13. No headset glued to my ears for 8 hours a day.
  14. Fast paced but very doable.
  15. Different type of work environment. This gives me the opportunity to handle something new.
  16. Making a few new friends.
  17. Opportunities to learn new things.

 I am very blessed to have this job. It may be awkward at times but the blessings outweigh the awkwardness. Who knows what the future holds for me but I continue to find the blessings in everything in my life.

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My Journey: New Job-Figured It Out

puzzle As I mentioned before, this work place is odd and awkward. No one talks to each other, there are no cliques on the team and no one seems to care.

I have been developing a couple of friendships, which has made the work place a little nicer. I have been asking lots of questions, listening and watching closely to everything around me.

I’m beginning to figure out the office politics, and who are the ‘go to’ people.

I have been talking to others outside of work about the awkwardness on my team. I’m trying to get different perspectives on the issue.

When talking this over with a cousin, she mentioned that it could be the supervisor we have. The supervisor may be the one that is causing the tension. I wasn’t sure if that was the case.

I went to work the next day and began to study everyone’s body language and facial expressions when she would communicate with them. I also began to ask specific questions about the supervisor to my team-mates.

WOW!!! That was it. The supervisor is the one that is causing all of this tension and awkwardness on the team.  Now I understand why no one is talking or laughing with each other.

I figured I can work with this. Knowing where all of this yucky stuff is coming from, I know what my role is.

I have taken it upon myself to try and befriend my supervisor. I am going to take the advice of a very wise person, my mom……….I am going to kill the supervisor with KINDENSS. I know this will take time and some energy on my part. But I think it will be worth it in the end. I am hoping the supervisor will lighten up, even if it’s a little bit. That’s got to be better than what we have now.

Even if the supervisor does take a liking to me…well at least my head may be off the chopping block. Can everyone say…..kiss up? Yes, I will do whatever I have to do to make this job better for me.

Which by the way, I think it’s working. This morning while the supervisor as making her rounds, I got a “Good morning, Shelly”, she called me by my name and not just the good morning.  To me, that is progress, I have not heard the supervisor give a personal ‘good morning’ to no one. My plan is working.  I hope.

As for the job itself, things are getting better. I’m still doing busy work but not as much as I was. I can now do a portion of my actual job title.  I still don’t have my log-ins for the computer program to fully do my actual job. There is some progress there too. I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Trying to stay positive and work hard at the busy work. I want to leave an impression. Hopefully befriending the supervisor will go a long way or at the very least, make things a little easier.


My Journey: New Job-Still Waiting

hourglassAfter a month or so of “busywork” on the new job, I still have no clue on what I’m doing. Or what I’m supposed to be doing.

Weeks into the job, I finally got an eight-hour training session on one of the four programs I need to run. The trainer was great, full of energy and kind of funny. She knew her stuff, and when she didn’t, she brought help in. I liked that about the training class. She did move through the training quickly, which I didn’t like, I wish she’d slow down for us old folks to catch our breath.

A handful of us (semi-newbies) were thrown into this training class that had been in process for a week. We were only there to learn the one program.

I was thrilled to finally have some training, even if it was only for the one program. I was excited to learn more about my job, and it was a great change of pace from the mindless work that I’d been doing.

After the training, I go home having a sense of accomplishment, thinking ‘great! Tomorrow, I’ll have the opportunity to start doing real work!’ I even took a few minutes to review the course work that was handed out, and I was pretty confident about starting the “real” job.

Boy was I let down. I walked into the building, thinking, ‘today is finally the day I get to work on the computer program for real.’ NOPE!!! My supervisor informs me, that we are swamped and she cannot pull a person from their job to sit with me. So, back to the “busywork” it is. (Bubble popped). They are unable to provide a timeline for starting the ‘real’ job.

Don’t get me wrong I will do “busywork,” all day, for the next twenty years, as long as I know that is my job. But knowing I was hired for a different position, makes me feel less productive than I should be. I am very grateful for this job, and I will continue (with a smile), with the “busywork” till they are ready for me.

I can’t wait for the chance to shine a little. Until that day, I will continue to make friends, learn as much as I can from my co-workers, do what I am told, and do it very well.

Abiding my time, grateful for new experiences, adventures, lessons to be learned, and leaving my comfort zone. Before I know it, all of this awkwardness will be in the past and everything will have worked out the way it is supposed to.

AS A SIDE NOTE: The team is beginning to warm up to me, or I to them. Things are still a little odd at times, but they are getting better. People are beginning to carry on conversations with me, and a few are even laughing at my sense of humor, or maybe just me. Either way, I’m okay with it.


My Journey: New Job-Fitting In

The past few weeks have been tough ones for me. I started a new job, helped with our family Thanksgiving dinner, we had a death in the family, and I helped organized and cook for the funeral lunch.

The new job has been hard enough for me to deal with let alone all the other things going on.

I am not used to getting up so early. Not working for a year had my sleeping habits skewed. Buying clothes and going through that torment was rough.


Now trying to fit in at a new company. This has turned out to be a challenge for me. I am not used to that, in the past I have been able to make at least one connection and made a friend by the 2nd day.

This has not been the case this time around. I have been struggling trying to make new friends. I know I am a goober and have my own unique ways. But really??? Still no connections. I think I have lost my touch.

The company I am working for is one of the most different and odd places I have ever been in.  There are no cliques. Everyone pretty much keeps to themselves. It took 5 days before I heard laughter in the office. That just blows my mind.

I know this is a workplace, but come on….no laughing? Even outside where the smokers gather…no one talks to each other.  Just weird.

I have never been in an office setting where there is silence and you can hear every cough, sneeze and phone conversation. Did I mention this office holds around 100 people?

I have been trying to make friends by jumping into light conversations with a joke but they seem to ignore me. I have introduced myself to over 50 people and I get nothing in return.

I was beginning to get paranoid, thinking they don’t want to have anything to do with the ‘fat’ girl or the old woman. Yes, I am the oldest person on my team. Even my 3 supervisors could be my children. I was thinking maybe I was the smelly kid in the classroom or my attire didn’t fit in.

I know none of those are true. I am not the only ’big’ person there, I am not the oldest person in the facility, my clothes are just as nice as everyone else’s and I shower every morning.

What am I doing wrong? I may not be the most social individual but I can carry on a conversation.

Today something happened. I was setting with one of my team members shadowing her. We began to talk and she was sharing all kinds of information about her family and baby. I let her do all the talking and didn’t share one piece of personal information.

What I did though was share my personality as she spoke. I made sarcastic comments that directed back to my behavior and listened carefully to her stories and asked questions.

After a few hours setting with her, one of our team members jumps into the conversation. He looks me in the eye and says…..Can I ask you a person question? I said, sure just ask long as it’s not my weight. We all laughed at that one.

He asked me how old I was. I responded honestly. He had a big grin on his face and said, thank goodness, I am no longer the ‘old man’ on the team, we now have an old lady. I had to laugh. I know how he feels.

That was that. I made 2 friends within minutes all because I gave them the opportunity to share with me.

I have been doubting my choice by accepting the job offer after the past couple of weeks. But now, I think I will hang in there a little longer to see where this weird ride takes me.

You are never too old to learn how to make friends.

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My Journey: New Job-Orientation


The new job has begun. First day is orientation day.

This is the boring part about starting a new job. The first day is always a unique experience.

You have to hand in your paperwork in order to get you parking pass. Then you get the privilege of some young pup take your photo for your badge.

The waiting begins. Waiting on everyone to get their badge just so we can leave the lobby. Waiting on the facilitator to start the show. Waiting on the late-comers, so everyone can begin.

Now it’s time to listen to security  run through their lists of the most common sense things, like if three’s a fire…..leave the building. Don’t leave your badge at your desk, because you won’t be able to get back into the building. If you see a strange package, don’t open it, move it or taste it. Yes, I said “taste”. That was actually in the PowerPoint.

Having to fill out all the paperwork for the W-2, direct deposit, emergency contact information and beneficiary information on the computer. I am so used to doing this on paper. It was nice just typing the information in and knowing someone else wouldn’t spell my name incorrectly.

This is when I realized I was the ‘old’ person in this group of 18 people including the facilitator. I was amazed that some of these folks that had a family didn’t know what a tax exemption was or how it worked.

I was surprised that over half of them didn’t know what/who a beneficiary was. The facilitator had stepped out and the class started asking me their questions. By the time the facilitator had come back all forms were filled out but mine. The class was now waiting on me.

The sad part about helping all of them (which I happy to do) was, only 2 people thanked me for helping. Where did common courtesy go?

The fun begins. It’s time to learn all about the company, what they do and what our obligations are. This is all done on the computer with a module base learning. Which is nothing new to me. That’s how my old job did all their training.

Setting in front of a computer screen with headphones on for 3 hours, watching/listening to some real boring information. A module on harassment, any type of harassment. Another one on keeping your desk clean. Yes, that’s right…how to keep your desk clean. A module on fraud, what to look for and how to report it. A module on confidentiality and how to secure your computer and paperwork. And the list goes on.

If you have worked for any large company you realize this is some of the most common sense things to remind us all. Then I was thinking, these kids have no clue what they are doing and they have to be taught these things.

It’s sad really that these young folks don’t know work place etiquette and how important all of those boring modules really are.

Even though it was a boring day for me, I have started a new job and I am on my way to a new adventure in my life. I am grateful this company has given me the opportunity to shine.


My Journey: Job Searching-Success!!!!!


After 10 days of waiting I finally got a call. The bad part is I missed the call. The call came in last Friday at 7:35 pm. I had been sick that week and left my phone on vibrate. Somewhere around 8:00 pm I check my phone and see that I had missed ‘THE” call from a company.

I listened to the voice message and it said they have some ‘good news’ for me. I called the person back and left her a message and apologized I was not available.

I had to wait till Monday to see if I had a job. Just another weekend…WAITING. Did I mention I am not good at waiting?

Monday rolls around and I was waiting all morning for my call. The call finally come in around noon. I was informed that I am being offered the position. WOO-HOO!!!!

She (Tina) continues to tell me what I will be doing, what shift and days I will be working and my pay. That’s when my heart sank. Everything was what I wanted until she mentioned the pay. It just wasn’t where I needed it to be.

I asked if there was any negotiating on the pay scale. She asked me what I was needing and informed me that she’s not sure if the company can offer me this rate.  Tina then says, she will talk to the hiring managers and see what she can do.

So there I was once again…waiting. I was holding my breath and ready to have a nervous breakdown. It’s been 3 months of hard work searching for a job and I have one true offer on the table.  A good job with a good company.

I am thinking to myself…..I can’t afford to take this job but then again I can’t afford NOT to take this job.

I wait for 45 minutes and Tina calls back. They came back with a counter offer. Still not quite there but a lot better than the original offer and almost what I asked for.

SUCCESS!!! I have taken the offer for the position and I start very soon. Now to fill out all those consent forms, go through a back ground check, a drug screen and read through the benefit packages.

I am excited and scared at the same time. Excited that I have a new job, scared about all the changes I will be going through.

I want to thank all my readers, friends and family that have supported me on this journey. Your encouragement, love and support have been a blessing to me.


My Journey: Job Searching- Face To Face Interviews



In the last post I had for my job search included phone interviews. Which was a new process for me to go through. The calls went well and I was invited to have face to face interviews with both companies.

I was very excited for this step. This is something I am sort of comfortable with. I know the routine and am prepared for the ‘company’ questions….or so I thought.

Do you remember the young man that I spoke about with the phone interviews…you know the one that sounded like Eeyore. My appointment was for 5:00 pm. I showed up early and realized that it is a job fair.

I couldn’t believe that after all the hoops I jumped through to get this interview, I am setting at a job fair.

I am prepared for my face to face interview, not mentally prepared to go through the online assessments again and to fill out yet another application.

I finally get to a one on one with a real person. This is when I realized that this is NOT the company for me.

They asked me questions that had nothing to do with my work history, their company or the position. I have already passed their personality, critical thinking, and IQ assessments. There was no need to continue on that path of questioning.

The company is almost a 2 hour drive one way. They pay was descent and they had good benefits. But I just can’t bring myself to work for a company that is redundant in their hiring process and is not truthful. (No one informed me, my interview process would be a job fair). That tells me it’s even a bigger issue in house. I can’t compensate for the long commute. I would have no free time.

I would have to move to a bigger city and pay higher rent for a smaller place just to make ends meet.

There were too many bad things about this company. I just don’t feel good taking a job there.

I have been declined for other jobs, but this is the first one I have turned down. I feel relived and I know it was the right decision for me.

The second interview was a couple of days later. I am totally prepared for anything on this interview.

I arrive 15 minutes early and sign in. I find a seat and start to review my notes about the company and review my resume. A young woman sat across from me and she engaged me with some questions. At first I thought maybe this is their process to meet me and see what I am like.

I found out she was interviewing for a position and has been an employee for the past 6 years.  This is good for me. It tells me this company likes to hire within. It gave me a chance to ask her questions too. I liked what she was telling me.

A gentleman came to the door and called my name.  Here we go. Time to put on my game face.

The gentleman led me down a hallway into an office where another woman greeted me.

They wasted no time getting started with their questions. Some questions were routine and others not so much. Great questions and they were related to the job.

I was able to show my personality a little bit and they were laughing with me. I was given the opportunity to shine over my work knowledge and they gave me a chance to impress them.

Now that’s how an interview is supposed to go.

At the end, I got the impression they liked me. I made them laugh and they both had genuine smiles on their faces.

I was very comfortable in this interview. It’s been 14 years since I have had a face to face interview. Very scary and intimidating.

I like this company a lot. I would be doing something completely different than customer service. I would only have a 30 minute commute one way. I wouldn’t have to work weekends. Descent benefits. Insurance starts on day one. The down side is, the pay. It’s just not quite there.

I have some thinking to do. But I am grateful for the learning journey I have been on lately. I am learning new things about myself and what is important to me.

The journey continues till I have a job. Wish me luck.