Mother of Necessity

because sometimes, you just have to.


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40 Things Money Can’t Buy

It’s been another busy week. As I am finally settling down to relax, my mind shifts to my surroundings and I think of all the money I have spent on ‘stuff’. Stuff that really has no other purpose than to make my home feel aesthetically pleasing.

I look around and realize that most of the “stuff” I have I don’t need. I can live without the mirror in the hall, I don’t have to have a picture/photo on every wall. I really don’t need all these trinkets/knickknacks on every shelf. I don’t even need the shelf.

No Money

This made me think of things that I don’t spend money on and how much joy I have by NOT spending money on “stuff”.

  1. Feeling the warmth of the sun on my face.
  2. Listening to the leaves blow on the trees
  3. Seeing “The Kid” smile
  4. Spending time with my mom and dad
  5. Listening to dad tell a funny story
  6. Listening to mom talk about her siblings
  7. Laughing with my sister
  8. Listening to music with my brother
  9. Seeing a beautiful sunset
  10. Having a great conversation with one of my cousins
  11. Learning something new
  12. Spending time in prayer
  13. Watching my great nephew play with his Papaw
  14. Watching the ducks/geese play at our local park
  15. Sharing a meal with a loved one
  16. Accomplishing a task  
  17. Helping my neighbor with a chore
  18. Opening up the windows and doors on a beautiful spring day
  19. The smell of a freshly cut lawn
  20. Watching the success of my niece and nephew
  21. Listening to my Mom’s siblings sing from old recordings
  22. Hearing a great sermon preached
  23. Taking a long hot shower
  24. Going through old photos
  25. Singing, even though I sound terrible
  26. Dancing in the kitchen with “the Kid”
  27. Making my mom laugh
  28. A good night’s rest
  29. A good day’s work
  30. People watching
  31. Making my “To-do” lists for the week
  32. Quiet time to reflect
  33. Taking a drive…..Yes, I know I spent money on the gas.
  34. Taking photos on my drive
  35. Taking a walk
  36. Writing a blog
  37. Seeing my family having fun and making memories
  38. Getting organized
  39. Listening to music
  40. Being surrounded by God’s creations.

As I write this, my house is open, the sun is shining through. I hear cyclist on the bike path, children playing on my street. A soft cool breeze is blowing through the house. I smell someone grilling out for the first time this year. I also smell one of my neighbors baking a cake or cookies. I hear “The Kid” laughing in his room while he plays an on-line game.

I have heard a great sermon and listened to some great music. I have made mom laugh today. I have achieved a few tasks and now off to fix food for my loved ones.

Could my day be any better?  I don’t think so. And I didn’t spend a penny. I have had a full enriched, joyful day. The best part, it’s not over yet.

How do you find your joy without spending any money?

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Music Monday: Joey and Rory

Photo By: countrymusictattletale.com

Photo By: countrymusictattletale.com

I came across this song a few weeks ago and it reminded me of how I grew up. Some may think this is an awful song but for me this is my foundation. My folks were raised this way. They raised all 3 of us kids this way and I raised my son in this manner too.

We were raised to do the right thing, meaning the Christian way. We were raised on the word of God, to show respect to our elders, to be honest, be forgiving, to love with an open heart, to help others in any way we could and to love the Lord.

I am grateful for being raised this way. I am a better person because my parents didn’t spoil us.

Joey & Rory: A Bible and A Belt: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yESgfK5Lqk

Sorry if this offends anyone. Just sharing my views.

I hope you have a great Monday and a beautiful week. Be grateful in what you have and go hug your parents.

 


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Taking a Breath

time outWith so much going on lately I decided to just set and take a breath. I needed to reflect on….. Well, everything.

The past few months have been a wild ride. I started a new job, getting adjusted to job, there was a death in the family, Mom and all her health struggles, “The Kid” and all his indecisiveness, unfinished projects and this roller coaster ride of emotions. It’s been overwhelming to say the least.

I realize that what is on my plate most people can slide on by without missing a beat. I do not have that type of personality. I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders by choice. I don’t know why but I do. So here I am…Needing that minute to catch up and catch my breath.

I needed to get some perspective, grieve, get caught up and just breathe for a few minutes.

The past few days have been good. I have been able to get a few projects done, started a new project. I gave myself the opportunity to grieve for my uncle and really think about what he had done for me and the family. I had a great conversation with “The Kid” that was long overdue. I am getting more comfortable with the job.

I need to practice what I preach more often. I forgot to reflect on everyday and find the joy in each moment. I was being selfish and only thinking about what I was feeling or doing. I was having a pity party for myself. That is no place to be when you have so much going on. You forget about the little things and focus on the weight you are carrying.

That is not good for anyone. We all need to reflect and take a moment to breathe through the junk so we can find some peace in the crazy around us. 

Once I began to settle into my reflections I realized that I had missed a few blessings this week.

Mom, my sister and I had a great visit the other day. All 3 of us laughed till we cried. I hadn’t seen mom do that in years.  It was a sweet moment to watch and be a part of. It warmed my heart listening to my mom, my sister and I joke around, laugh and have a fun time. I’m going to miss that.

I had a few cousins and some family friends check in on me, just to see how I was doing. What a blessing to have people care for you that they take the time to show you how much.

My new friend at work has been very supportive. She listens to me while I share stories about my family and laughs with me at our goofiness. She is a sweet heart. What a blessing to have a new friend.

What a blessing to have one of my fellow bloggers reach out with such kind, loving words of encouragement. Thank you nopassingfancy.  Check out her blog at…….. https://nopassingfancy.wordpress.com/. 

I am hoping and praying that this week coming up I will be able to stop, take a breath and reflect on the good moments and not hold onto the heaviness of my emotions.

I encourage you to join me on taking a breath to enjoy the things around you.


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My Journey: Mom & Dad-Sharing The News

newsThis past week was a little better for me. The week before had me on a nasty emotional roller coaster ride. I would get up in the morning, get ready for work and everything was fine. After being at work for an hour or 2, thoughts would overwhelm me and I would be weeping at my desk. The next day seemed to go fine but on my drive home I would be in tears again. It was like this the whole week. I was exhausted.

So many thoughts and emotions go through my head, I can’t help but cry. Which leads me to this blog.

I was asked by mom to inform the family that she was in stage 4 Cirrhosis of the liver. I was glad to take that burden off her shoulders. She didn’t need the stress of telling the same diagnosis to 30-40 family members.

Mom also asked me to inform their friends that she and Dad have known for 60 plus years.

For the family I knew it would be too hard even for me to make those phone calls. I decided that I would send one email to everyone.  I know it’s not very personable but I just couldn’t go through those emotions at that time. That was a tough email to write. I am just an amateur blogger. Sometimes words do NOT come easy for me. That email put me to the test.

I was able to conjure up words that made sense and inform almost all the first cousins. (Sad to say that I was only informing cousins because out of the 14 brothers and sister mom has there are only 2 brothers left. Mom informed them of her news). I received many phone calls and emails letting us know that they are thinking and praying for our family.

Within hours of sending the email, I was full of love and support from so many responding. Many telling me that if I needed anything that they would be there for me. That gave me great peace of mind knowing there are so many that are willing to be there for me (mom/dad).  So many shared their love and concerns. So many were heartbroken for Mom and our family.

Shortly after I sent the email, I decided to call Mom and Dad’s friends. These are folks I have known all my life. People that went to school with my parents. A long line of history is there.

Our families would get together and all of us kids would play while the parents would play card games eat, and have a great time. I have so many memories with these families.

My sister and I even had a couple of these ladies helping in our school.  These ladies watched us grow up and helped us become the people we are today. Thank you.

I knew that call was going to difficult. The first call I made was to Mrs. B. I didn’t beat around the bush I just blurted it out……”Mom is in stage 4”. I know I took her by surprise but she was great. Mrs. B helped me. She was saddened by the news but she was very uplifting to me. She took the burden off my shoulders and informed the other friends in the group about mom.

What a blessing. Thank you Mrs. B for lightening my load. Thank you for being so kind and supportive. Thank you for informing others and carrying that load for me.

Once I got off the phone, I was on overload with emotions. The emotions of having to inform so many of such awful news. Worrying how this news would affect them. Saddened by the sorrow so many were feeling that night. Realizing that I had just upset some households, I was beside myself.  My dealing with my own emotions on the severity of this reality.

It’s hard for me to put into words the range of emotions I am going through daily. I am hoping, someday I will be able to vocalize those emotions into written form. But for now, I will stumble through the blogs and my emotions.

Thank you to my readers for your loving and supportive comments, likes and shares. You are fantastic!!!! I know the last few posts have not been the most positive in nature (I’m working on that), Thank you for your understanding.

Just a reminder to myself. I may be a raw emotional wreck, but I have people that love me and want to help. Remember to reflect at the end of the day and look for the little things that made you smile or better yet lightened your load. There are blessings out there, sometimes you have to search for them. Take the time, it will always be worth the look.


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Music Monday: Gordon Mote

Photo by: gaither.com

Photo by: gaither.com

I was planning on doing my family’s favorite music this month. But you know the past week has been a challenge. So here’s one of my Mom’s favorite songs. I hope you enjoy.

Reminder: Look for the little things in your day that bring you joy. Call you mom/Dad and give them big hugs.

Mom’s favorite: Gordon Mote- Mercy Walked In  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShVKTFS4CSs


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My Journey: New Job-17 Blessings

blessings

The job is going good. Still very slow progress in the actual ‘doing’ my job. But it’s getting better.

This may not be my long-term career and I am ok with that. But while I am here I have to say I am blessed. Here are my blessings:

  1. Slow progress is a good thing. Slow and steady wins the race and it gives me time to really learn the job and shine.
  2. No Stress: I walk out the office door and the job stays there. No a lot of people can say that.
  3. It’s paying the bills. May not have any extra but I am blessed to have my needs met.
  4. Not a big commute. I drive less than 30 minutes one way and only on the freeway for 2 miles. Got to love that.
  5. Close to home and family.
  6. No weekends. This is the first job I have had that started out with no weekend work.
  7. The hours are great. Normal working hours during the day.
  8. Medical benefits. They may not be great but they get the job done.
  9. Attire: Dress casual. I couldn’t afford a brand new wardrobe, but was able to afford the clothes I needed.
  10. No contact with the everyday public.  That’s something new for me. Kind of like it.
  11. No more customer service phone calls with crazy people.
  12. Vacation time already started. I didn’t have to wait 6 months to a year to have time off.
  13. No headset glued to my ears for 8 hours a day.
  14. Fast paced but very doable.
  15. Different type of work environment. This gives me the opportunity to handle something new.
  16. Making a few new friends.
  17. Opportunities to learn new things.

 I am very blessed to have this job. It may be awkward at times but the blessings outweigh the awkwardness. Who knows what the future holds for me but I continue to find the blessings in everything in my life.


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Searching For The Positive

postiveWe are surrounded by terrible stories, events and personal tragedies every day. Stories that make you weep for others. Personal issues that would make others wither.  These things can either soften your heart or harden your heart.

The way I see it, we have become desensitized towards things that we either don’t care or don’t bother to get involved.  We have become so sensitive that everything offends us or we are looking for things to offend us just so we can be heard.

That is no way live. Yes, there are terrible things going one in our world and personal lives, but this does not mean that we have to succumb to the negative things around us. We don’t have to be numb about everything and we don’t have to be so sensitive either. There is a middle ground called positive thinking.

Positive thinking allows us to be in the moment to weep for others but also be blessed knowing that, that ‘story’ could be us.

Now don’t take that the wrong way. I don’t want you to think I don’t care. Because I do. Let me put it this way.

My mom is very sick. It’s hard for me to watch her health decline. It’s an emotional roller coaster with lots of low thoughts. You know what, I would not have it any other way. Because I know it’s my turn to take this journey. I am grateful that I don’t have to be on the path by myself. Grateful that I have family to help me. Grateful for everyday my parents are still here.

Where there is a negative there will ALWAYS be a positive.

I am a realist at heart. It’s easy for me to see the negative first. But, I also search for the positive in any situation. If I can deal with the negative, I know for a fact there will always be positives too.   

We just have to stop and search for the positive. We may not always see the positive at first. That’s why we search. For instance: if you are working on a jig-saw puzzle, sometimes it’s better to turn the picture on the box upside down or the puzzle upside down to get a new perspective. It doesn’t always work but we were able to fit a few more pieces together in the puzzle because of a new perspective.

Searching for the positive takes some energy if you are not used to doing so. But I will tell you, it is well worth the effort.

Practice this the next time you are in the car and find yourself frustrated because the guy in front of you is doing 45 in a 55.  Think of it this way, now you have the time to enjoy that beautiful sunrise, or maybe that is God intervening and saving you from an accident. Either way that is a positive. It will be fine that you are a few minutes late for work.

Things happen and it’s up to us to deal with those things in a positive manner. Which means we have to search the positive first in order for there to be a positive reaction.