Mother of Necessity

because sometimes, you just have to.

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Wanting To Help, But Can’t?

free hugsSomething on my heart.

Have you ever been in the position that you know you can’t help someone or comfort someone in need. Especially when your heart is breaking for that loved one(s)? The past month or so has been that for me.

My heart aches that so many of my loved ones are hurting and there is nothing in my power to help or comfort them. Which breaks my heart even more.

As you already know I am a control freak and I want to help others. Not being able to assist them in anyway makes me feel like I have failed them in in some way or that I am a bad cousin, friend, Aunt, sister, daughter and/or mother.

I don’t like seeing loved ones (anyone) suffer or struggle. It truly saddens me to the core that they have to go through the pain. I realize they have their own support. But I’m not helping. I am not contributing in the help.

How do I help someone when there’s nothing you can say or do to help take away the pain?

Here is what I have concluded. There is something you can do to help. It may not be cleaning their home, or even being that should to cry on. You can be there with your love and support.

  1. Make that phone call. Let them know you are just checking in. Sometimes that opens the door for a conversation that needs to be set free.
  2. Text them and let them know you are thinking of them.
  3. Send an e-mail. An e-mail allows the other person a chance to open up and share when they can’t actually talk about the struggle.
  4. Send a card (handwritten). Take the time to write down your love and concern you have for them and make sure you open that line of communication. Sometimes just knowing that someone is in your corner is enough to get them through the day.
  5. When/if they reach out to you….listen to them. They NEED to talk. It doesn’t matter what the content is, LISTEN. They NEED you to listen.
  6. Be there. Just be present for them.
  7. Hug them, sometimes a hug breaks down the barrier. Hug them till they stop hugging you. Let them hold on for dear life if needed.
  8. Prayer is something you can do to help comfort them in a way no one else can. God is the only one that has the power to bring peace to a hurting soul.

Your actions do not have to be large gestures, just your love. I know the above do not sound like a lot of help. But, I have been informed by others that sometimes the smallest act of kindness/love is the greatest help. Supporting hurting individuals is tough because it never seems to be enough. You just being there for them is enough.


Are You Ready For Winter?

My answer….never. I do love the change of the seasons but my least favorite is winter.

When I got up this morning there was a heavy frost outside. It was beautiful but cold. I don’t enjoy the cold. I took a walk and snagged a photo hoping it would change my outlook. It didn’t….still don’t like the cold or winter even though it is pretty.

Photo by: Mother of Necessity

Photo by: Mother of Necessity

There is a four letter word that I swear is a cuss word and I cringe every time I hear it……..SNOW.

I am never mentally prepared for winter. I’m probably going to jinx Ohio for saying this, but I am grateful that it is December and we have yet to see that white fluffy stuff falling from the sky. Grateful that it hasn’t been so cold yet that I haven’t broken out the winter garb.

It’s coming, I know it is, so I might as well get prepared for the inevitable.

Here are a few things that I do to get prepared for that dreaded yucky winter.

  1. Make sure I have hat’s gloves and boots.
  2. Dig the snow shovel out and inspect it, so I know it will work.
  3. Buy a few bags of salt for my sidewalk and path to my car.
  4. Put a bag of salt in the trunk of car. I can always use it in an emergency. I can use it when it’s icy in any parking lot. I can use the unopened bag under a tire if I get stuck and it’s added weight to the car to help with traction.
  5. Keep an extra pair of gloves, hat, a pair of socks, jacket, a blanket, bottled water and a few snacks in the car in case I get stranded.
  6. I never let my car get below a quarter tank of gas. I want to make sure I have gas to stay warm if I get stranded or if I get stuck in traffic.
  7. I put plastic on my windows of my home to keep the warmth in. It saves on my fuel bill too.
  8. Kerosene heater with 5 gallons of fuel. Just in case the electricity goes out. This will keep a couple rooms warm, it will prevent my pipes from freezing and it’s another way to cook food if there is no electricity.
  9. Stock up on canned goods, bread, snacks and water. If I’m not able to leave the house I want to make sure I have something to eat while I am waiting for the snow to stop falling.
  10. Get my car inspected and fix whatever problem there is. I have the oil changed, and get new wipers. I want my car to be extra safe in the winter. I am too old to be setting in a broken car waiting for a tow truck.
  11. I keep lip balm and lotion in my purse. The winter does a number on this old menopausal skin.
  12. I get an extra box of tissues and stock up on cold/sinus medication. It never fails, I always get the flu, a bad cold or have a sinus infection this time of year.
  13. I open my blinds during the day to let the sun help heat my home. It saves on fuel and can brighten you mood too.
  14. Last:  I pray that this winter is mild and I don’t have to use any of the above items.

I hope this winter passes without incident for all of you.

What do you do to be prepared for the yucky winter months?

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Holiday Tips & Reminders


It’s that time of  year. The holiday season has begun. Time to start prepping for visitors, big dinners, and lots of shopping.

Here are a few tips to keep in mind for the holidays.

VISITORS: If you are making your rounds and making impromptu visits, keep in mind people may not be prepared. No judging their homes or actions.

If the home is dirty or they don’t have anything to offer you (drinks/food), don’t be mad. You are surprising them.  Remember why you are visiting. You are there to check in with them, have conversations and see if there is anything you can do to help. These are people you love and adore, please do not judge. Be kind and offer your help.

If you would like to, you can always bring a small gift when you go visit. The gift could be your help around their house, such as helping with decorations or cleaning. You could also gift them with coupons to help with cost of the upcoming events. A nice small centerpiece is always good. Bring your own snacks and drinks.

Bringing a small token is a great gesture of kindness and love.

When you have folks come to your home to visit, I recommend on Thursday or Friday night before the weekend or the day or 2 before the holiday, go through your home and do some light housekeeping.  

Make sure the bathroom is clean, dishes are done and you living room is picked up. Maybe go to the grocery store and get some snacks and extra drinks. This way you are prepared for any visitors.

Visiting is a great way to reconnect with loved ones and everyone feels good when you are able to connect.

DINNERS:  If you are hosting the dinner, make sure you have everything you need. Making that last minute grocery store run can be awful or the store may be closed and you are out of luck.

Ask for help. No need to do this by yourself. There are others that would be grateful to assist you.

Relax: Don’t pressure yourself to make everything perfect. If something doesn’t work out the way you planned, it’s ok. Remind yourself why you are hosting. It’s not for the glory of compliments (even though compliments are wonderful) but for making memories with the people you hold dear. Trust me, your guests don’t care that things are perfect, they are happy to be surrounded by folks they love too.

If you are going to someone’s house for dinner, remember your etiquettes. Be polite (please & thank you), offer your assistance, clean up your mess and play nice with others.

If you are helping with the dinner by bringing a dish (pot luck style) please bring what was asked of you or what you committed to bring. Your friends/family are relying on you to do your part.

If you are not bringing a dish you might want to bring a small gift for the host or for the home. If you are like me and can’t afford a gift, make sure you help with the cleanup. Your host will be so thankful for the help.

Send a nice “Thank You” card after the dinner. It shows your appreciation and the love you have for that family.

SHOPPING: Just a few helpful tips.

Fill up the car with gas before you leave. You don’t want to interrupt the shopping spree by getting gas. Travel with your car lights on. Even during the day. 

Have a list of people you need gifts for or a list of gift items needed. It helps keep you on your budget and reminds you who/what you are needing to purchase.

Keep your money secure. Keep your purse in your hand at all times. Wear a cross-body purse (less likely to be set down or stolen). Carry you debit/credit cards in your front pocket of your pants.

Charge your cell phone or have a car charger. You don’t want to be out shopping and not have any service to retrieve those online coupons.

Carry a small amount of actual cash. Some of those small business do not accept credit cards. It’s also nice to leave your lunch tip in cash for the wait staff.

Set a budget for how much you are spending on your spree.

I hope you have a safe, happy and stress free holidays.

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Don’t We Have Something Better To Do?

social media


I do not post things about what is taking place in our world. I want to make my blog fun, entertaining and educational. I don’t think I can hold my tongue any longer.

The world we all live in is unraveling in front of our faces. We set back observe, judge, call names but yet we do NOTHING about our own lives and problems. I know I have something better to do with my time.

Why is it news that a cup is now “red”? Why do we care so much about the color of a dress? Why do we waste our time watching a family on TV do things that are just ridiculous? Do these things impact our way of living? Why do we judge a business that is closed on Sunday or that the business is helping the homeless, all because the social media put it out there?

I understand that social media is the norm. It should not be our point of education. Why are we allowing just ‘crap’ be such a large part of our day?

I enjoy social media as the next person. I use it as entertainment for a minute or when I am bored. But I do not spend hours connected to it. I have too many things to do.

My mom would tell me my face would stick like that, when I made an ugly face as a kid. I think there is some truth to that statement. If we do something long enough we become that (whatever “that” may be). 

If we feed ourselves with junk food we become fat. If we feed our minds with junk, than our minds become mush. We will lose rational thinking, the ability to think for ourselves and decipher the difference between what is really right and wrong. Do you want to give that up? I know I don’t.

We are intelligent human beings (for the most part). The longer we get involved with the nonsense, we all will become meaningless to each other, because we will forget what is most important in our lives.

No it’s not money, a career, our home or material things. I have news for you all. It’s family and loving one another with an open heart.

Having a kind heart takes work. If you are willing to invest 4 hours a day with the “junk” than you have time for something meaningful in your life.

Take that time you would spend on social media and go connect with your loved ones. I bet your mom/dad would love to see you and spend time with you. How about your own kids? Go play a game with them, help them with their homework or better yet have a conversation with them.

Don’t get me wrong, I am guilty from time to time too. I have realized that by watching/listening and reading this junk, it is not good for me. It can cloud my own thinking, get me aggravated or even stunned by the stupidity because I am letting worldly influences fog up my thinking.

I have had to remind myself that this ’junk’ is just that…JUNK. It does not play a part in my world, nor should it. I remind myself that I am smarter than that and “junk” has no part in my mind. I have enough useless information in my head, I don’t need any more junk.

I am asking you kindly to step away from the Twinkie (junk food) and grab an apple instead.

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11 Trick or Treat Safety Tips


Autumn is here and it’s time for Halloween. It’s time to carve the pumpkins. Time to buy or make the costumes.  Time to buy and test the candy and then buy more because we ate the first bag and time for some safety tips.

  1. Clear and light pathways to your front door. This will help the wee ones make it safely to their treats. You don’t want Superman getting hurt. Children are excited to show off their costumes and anxious to get candy. They don’t pay attention when they are walking/running to your door, so let’s make that part safe for them.
  2. Costumes: Make sure the costume isn’t too long. This can cause trips and falls. The costume can get caught on bushes/shrubs or be stepped on by others. Make sure the costume is bathroom friendly.                                                               If your child is wearing a mask, please be sure they can see and breathe clearly. If they are wearing make-up or face paint, check to see if it’s hypo-allergenic. You don’t want your child getting a rash from the paint.
  3. Shoes: I know those princess shoes that come with the gown are adorable, but those shoes may not be the best option for walking. They can wear those shoes for the party. You and your child should wear comfortable/durable shoes. You will be on your feet for a good 2 hours and you don’t want your little princess to miss out because her feet hurt.
  4. Carry a flashlight or glow-stick. Put some reflective tape on your child’s costume, this way drivers can see your child walking around.
  5. Plan your route. If you are taking your kids out, have a route you have already scanned for construction, broken sidewalks or any other obstacles.                                                                              If you have older children that will be on their own, help plan their route and walk it with them a day or two early so they know where they are going and you will have an idea where they are at when they venture out.
  6. Follow the curfew rule if you have one for your area. This helps the residents know when trick or treaters may be knocking at their door. It also helps the drivers in your town to drive more cautiously.
  7. No shortcuts: No cutting through alleyways, fields, yards and driveways. These areas may not be lit well and can cause a trip hazard.  You never know what ghoul or goblin awaits you in a dark alley. It’s just smart to avoid these things.
  8. Chaperons: The young children should always be with an adult. The older ones should be in a group.
  9. No candy eating till the kids get home. Inform your children not to eat any candy while out. You want to inspect their bounty before they consume and you want to pick the best pieces out for yourself.
  10. Do Not Enter:  Inform your children to never enter a person’s home or car and why. Do not trick or treat at someone’s home that is not lit up or the front porch light is not on. If the light is not on that resident doesn’t have any candy and does not want to be bothered.
  11. Always stay with the group: Remind your ghosts to stay close and not to wander off.

Have a safe and happy Halloween. If you have any other safety tips, please share them in the comments.

Photo by Mother of Necessity

Photo by Mother of Necessity

Here’s a shameless plug:  If you are looking for a trick or treat bag/canvas tote for your child. Come take a look at my new fall photos. These totes are washable and can be saved for next year too.