Mother of Necessity

because sometimes, you just have to.


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Did you forget Common Courtesy?

Golden Rule

I am stepping onto my soapbox. Where is common courtesy? When did it become ok, not to be polite? We want people to be polite to us but we are unwilling to give it first. There is something wrong with this picture.

My folks taught us to say please, thank you, excuse me, I’m sorry and can I help you, when we see someone struggling. My folks taught us to be polite and courteous to others by being on time or holding a door for someone. If we did not do/say any of these things, we were scolded and reminded to do better.

I have taught these simple rules to my own son. He’s 24, and I am told he is one of the most polite people they have met. He says: please, thank you, I’m sorry. He holds the door for people. These were not hard rules to teach him and it didn’t take a lot of energy either.

I realize we live in a much faster paced world than we did 20 years ago and we seem to be busier too, but that is no excuse. I believe it is necessary to be polite. It doesn’t take any more of your time to be polite and say thank you.

When was the last time you said ‘Thank You’ to some one that was kind to you? When you went out to eat last night and your wait staff did a good job, did you say thank you or just leave a tip? Sometimes the words are better than the tip. I know, you are thinking my waiter didn’t do a good job. Did you stop to think that maybe, just maybe the waiter was having a bad day because they had a death in the family or their car broke down or maybe they were just having a bad day? We’ve all been there, so instead of making things worse for the waiter, ask them if they are ok? Be polite, it goes a long way.

Why do we think saying ‘please’ is a sign of weakness or begging? Saying ‘please’ is just a polite way for asking what you want. If we don’t say ‘please’ then, whatever you are asking for it comes across as a demand. Hand me the remote….. Is a command. Hand me the remote, please……is a thoughtful way of asking for something. It comes across less demanding and the person you are asking is more apt to honor your request.

When you are at the grocery store and the clerk asks, paper or plastic, simply say “paper please”. I bet the clerk hadn’t heard a ‘please’ all day. If you add a ‘Thank You’, your customer service experience will go up a few notches. Being polite has it perks.

I’m sorry: These two words have gotten lost in our vocabulary.  I know, we never want to admit we are ever wrong. It’s a pride thing. Saying I’m sorry is not about your pride, it’s about being polite when we screw up and acknowledging that we made a mistake.

It’s simple, if you mess up, fess up. Say I’m sorry and be a big boy/girl and take your punishment. If you did wrong there is always some sort of punishment. Suck it up and take it on the chin.

Saying I’m sorry is also empathy for another person’s suffering. When we have a friend that is going through a tough time, we need to say, I’m sorry you are having to struggle or I’m sorry that you are so sad. With this type of “I’m sorry” you should ALWAYS follow up with…..is there anything I can do to help. You have to mean those words too and be willing to follow through.

Why is being on time so hard for some people? Being on time shows respect. It’s also being polite. Being late is rude and lazy, especially if you do not call to say you will be late. To me, it tells me I am not worth your time, or that you don’t care enough about me.

Have you ever showed for a job interview and you were late? Did you get the job? I really doubt it. Before you even got your foot in the door, the employer already knew what type of employee you would be.

I have a friend that is in Human Resources. He said it doesn’t matter how qualified that person is, if they can’t be on time for the interview, he will not hire them. The reason is, you were late. If you are late for the interview, then you will be late to work. Being late shows my friend that you really don’t care about the job or you do not have any respect for the company you are interviewing for.

So, the next time you are going to be late, please call. It’s the polite and respectful thing to do.

No one asks anymore: Can I help you, may I help or do you need some help? When did this courtesy go away?

When we see someone struggle, we walk away. Saying, I don’t have the time or someone will help them or I really don’t want to get involved. I say, “Shame on you”. We all need help. Whether it be for a moment or longer, we can all use some help.

I know you have had someone ask you, if you needed help. I’m pretty sure you accepted their offer for help. When you did accept the offer, things were better because that person offered their time, energy and maybe money. I hope you at least said ‘thank you’.

If you see a short person (like me) struggling to reach for something, Please ask if they need help. I know I appreciate it. You will feel good about it too.

You see your neighbor using a hand shovel to remove the snow, offer to help, especially if you have a snow blower.

Hold the door for someone: A mother with a newborn/kids, a person on crutches or in a wheelchair, an elderly person, or just for the person behind you. Now don’t be surprised if no one says thank you. Remember that’s the world we live in now. By you showing some kindness and courtesy, you are showing that person they have value and you respect that.

Maybe your act of common courtesy will show others how easy it is and they will start doing the same. We all need common courtesy and we all need to show it too.

Remember what we you taught in kindergarten or by our parents: GOLDEN RULE: Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.

Leave me your comments about this post. I would love to hear your view point on this topic.


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Leaving MY Comfort Zone

Leaving Comfort Zone

 

I have been in customer service most of my life, over 30 years. It’s the only thing I know, or so I think. I am what the world considers uneducated because I do not have a degree.

I am 4? years old and I am at a crossroads for my life. I am single and my 24 year old son lives with me. I have no job, no income at this time and I have decisions to make, very soon.

I really don’t like big changes. I find comfort in a routine that is simple. But, here I am. I realize that this transition I am in is huge. Changes are bound to happen and my simple routines are going to be gone.

When I lost my job of 14 years about 8 months ago, I thought, oh great another crappy thing I have to go through and had a pity party for myself. That lasted about a month. Then I thought ok, this is a great. I am no longer stressing over ‘that’ job, because it turned into bad job and was causing me to be sick the last 3 years.

I thought that this is my one opportunity to take the time and really think things through and figure out what I want/need to do next with my life. I have some money saved up, I can afford to take the time to ‘get myself together’.

Then I thought this is a great time to have a real vacation because I hadn’t had a vacation is over 20 years. So I took off and visited some family, which was fantastic. I loved every minute I was with them. I was relaxed, I laughed, slept great, and had some of the best conversations.

During my vacation time, I got my house organized. I mean really organized. I cleaned out every drawer, closet and room. I even organized my CD collection, got all my photos in order and organized all my paper work. That took me a month or so and it felt wonderful to have the time that we are all missing to actually get some things accomplished.

Since I was a teenager, I thought it would be great to write about something. I sat down and wrote my first book:” How To Plan A Simple Family Reunion”. That felt so good to put pen to paper and I placed it with Amazon to start selling.

I knew it wasn’t going to be a best seller, but nonetheless, it felt great and I was able to mark off something from my bucket list.

I have wanted to start a blog for over a year but never got it started because I didn’t have the time or better yet, too lazy, too scared to do it. After a few months visiting family, friends, writing a book and getting organized I realized I have nothing to do and I am not ready to go back to work because I still don’t know what I want/need.

Since I have the time, I figured this was another opportunity to do something I wanted. After a couple of months researching blogs and coming up with a name, I released the Mother of Necessity blog.

The blog has been running for little over 3 months. I think it’s doing well, especially since I am not a dot com but a dot net. I am harder to find and search for.

I get so much joy from writing the blogs. It’s a challenge sometime to come up with a topic that is not shallow, which I have posted a couple of those just for fun. I love the comments some of my fans have left. I feel like I am contributing to the world in this manner. I love it. Now if I could only find a way to really make a living off this. That’s one of my big questions I have for this journey I am on.

I really have a passion for this kind of outlet. Writing a blog is a great way to reach so many is such a short time. I really want to help. I know if I struggle with the everyday stuff we all have to go through, I can’t be alone. I may not always have the answers but I can try to help.

I guess I still have that customer service in me. I am looking for a new way to be a better customer service representative.

Blogging is my outlet. I get so much happiness writing and it gives me that chance to help others.

It feels so good to write, I wrote a second book: “Making Decisions”. Still knowing that this was not going to be a best seller, but again, it felt great.

So here I am. Trying to find my way. Researching new jobs outside of customer service, researching new avenues to make a living and researching myself and who I am and what I want/need.

I am realizing that my new path is just around the corner and that my comfort zone will soon be a memory. I am excited, challenged and terrified in this journey. I am discovering new things about myself, some I don’t like and others I am blessed to have discovered.

I truly believe that blogging and writing some simple books is part of my journey. I am grateful for all my readers who have decided to tag along in this journey of mine. I am humbled by you (readers/followers) and your comments. You bring me joy and a purpose.

I know this is not my typical blog post, but my heart was telling me to write about my journey.

Thanks for taking the time to read this post and if you have any questions or suggestions, please leave a comment or you can e-mail me at: motherofnecessity1@gmail.com if you don’t want your comment/suggestion to be public.


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Accountability

Sorry I am late for my post. It’s been one of those days.

Accountability

Accountability is the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s actions, according to the dictionary.

What this means for us is, we have to answer for our actions when we are reaching for that goal. WOW!!! That’s some tough love we have to give to ourselves. That’s great motivation in its self.

Here’s a couple of ideas how to hold yourself accountable.

First, I suggest a weekly check list for yourself. If you stick to the check list you are taking responsibility for what you want to get accomplish for the week. This can help you stay focused and motivated.

Second, tell everyone you know what you are wanting to get accomplished. They will hold you accountable for your actions and you will give you the drive you need to get things done. Your friends are waiting on a progress report and you don’t want to let them down.

Third, ask a friend/colleague to help you. You will have to let them in on your goal, timelines and what you are wanting to get accomplished. Ask them if you can check in with them daily, weekly, or monthly to let them know what you have been doing to reach that goal. Their input will help you stay on track because you don’t want to provide a bad progress report.

I know these ideas seem to be simple, but they are not. Because you are asking of yourself and others to be completely honest. That’s hard to do. We like to sugar coat what we are doing and tell ourselves we’re doing great. We all do it…lie to ourselves. Having to check in with someone, they give you a different outlook and may think you should be challenging yourself more.

I know you can do these things. It’s not too hard. You have to be honest with yourself and trust your friend/colleague to be honest with you. It’s all pretty simple.

Be accountable for your own actions. This will help you stay focused, get the job done more efficiently and be honest with your actions. All these things are great motivators.