Mother of Necessity

because sometimes, you just have to.


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My Journey: Mom & Dad-Accepting

hugs

 

Onto the next journey which has already been in motion for a while. That’s the journey I am on with my parents.

As we know, when our parents get older the roles can be reversed and we begin to care for them instead of them caring for us.

If you have read my blogs about my folks you know that Dad is a heart patient and Mom has stage 4 Cirrhosis of the liver (non-alcoholic) and a heart patient. Both are in their 70’s, their health is declining and things are getting harder for them to do.

It’s sad to watch such strong, independent, self-assured, and capable individuals decline. Even if it’s just a little bit and one thing at a time.

My parents have always done things on their own. They have remodeled their home, built a garage, taken care of their property, repaired things around their home, planted gardens, raised 3 kids, taken care of 3 grandkids, helped others, worked in their church and have always been the ones called upon for assistance. My parents have been there for so many.

Now the shoe is on the other foot. Now my parents are the ones needing assistance. Granted they are still very capable of doing so many things, but need some help doing others.

As their child I am heartbroken for them. I know neither one of them want to relinquish their independence or admit that they need help sometimes. It has got to be difficult to ask for help when just a year ago they were capable. What a difference a year makes.

I can only imagine their own struggles they have. They say growing old is not for the weak. I am beginning to understand that statement more and more each day.

This journey I am on with my parents will be tough and heart wrenching. The one thing I am sure of is, I will not regret going on this ride. There have been rides that I have taken in the past and regret but this will not be one of them.

With their permission I will be sharing this journey we are on. Granted most of the posts will be about my journey and sharing a glimpse of theirs. I am not looking for sympathy or kudos. I just thought this would be a good outlet for me and maybe a way to help others that may have to jump on the same type of ride.

 Stage #1 (for me)-Accepting the fact that my parents are not invincible. As children and even adults we want to believe that our parents will be with us forever. The reality is most likely they will not.

Accepting that they need your help. I didn’t want to help because I was holding onto my parents were invincible. If I helped then I had to let go of the dream that they would never perish.

Accepting that my own personal priorities will change. My folks come first and everything else is second.

Accepting that my role as a daughter has changed and will continue to change.

Accepting the new emotional roller coaster ride I am on.

Accepting the reality that they are very sick.

Accepting responsibilities that my folks bestow upon me with grace and love.

Accepting hugs out of the blue.  

Accepting the blessing that will come from this journey.

Yes, I did say, “blessings” I know there will be because I have already had a few.
For right now it’s learning to accept whatever is thrown at us.

I know for me, I will do my hardest to find the blessings even in the emotional craziness that may consume me. I will do my best to accept whatever roadblock, downfall, bad day, funny moments, quite times and quality time I have left with my parents.

Sorry this post is not the most positive, I will work on that. I will do my best to keep you updated once a week on this new journey.

Please feel free to comment or share your journey with me.

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Birthday Surprises and Blessings

Birthday

Today is my Birthday. Where did the last 47 years go? I’m getting old and doing my best to get wiser. I wanted to share with you the surprises I have had this past week.

I got a very nice surprise when I walked into the office on Friday. My desk was decorated and I had a card signed by my whole team. One of the girls that I have become friends with brought in the best doughnuts on the planet to share with the team.

What a pleasant surprise! I loved it!  It was very heartwarming to know that I haven’t been at this company very long but yet they showed me they care. Almost brought me to tears.

When I got home I was surprised to find I had a couple Birthday cards in the mail and a package from some cousins. Got to love my family. They are the best!

The “Kid” even fixed me a great dinner. I got to enjoy a pork roast with potatoes and carrots. That was so yummy. I had no idea he even knew how to cook this. Another great surprise!

 The “Kid” even had a card waiting for me with my favorite candy bar. He picked the most perfect card too. It made me cry. I didn’t know he felt that way. Just another wonderful pleasant surprise.

I awoke this morning to my phone blowing up with texts from family and friends. My Facebook page was a surprise too. Never had so many Birthday wishes before. Just another wonderful surprise.

The last surprise I got this week was not a happy surprise. My mom was diagnosed with state 4 Cirrhosis of the liver (non-alcoholic). She was informed “to get her papers in order”.

It’s been a sad week but yet I have had so many blessings this week as well.  Blessed to have a job and a few wonderful friends from that job.

Blessed that I have so many friends and family that love me enough to show me how much they care.

Blessed that “the Kid” has a kind heart.

Blessed I get to be on this journey with my folks.

Blessed with a loving, supportive and caring family.

This Birthday may not have been one of the greatest for me considering the bad news but it will be one that I remember for a very long time. This Birthday brought in some new blessings, new realities and a new journey. I am blessed.

I will keep you up to date on this journey I am on.

Thank you all for reading, taking the time to comment, like and share my blog. Your support is overwhelming.


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My Journey: New Job-17 Blessings

blessings

The job is going good. Still very slow progress in the actual ‘doing’ my job. But it’s getting better.

This may not be my long-term career and I am ok with that. But while I am here I have to say I am blessed. Here are my blessings:

  1. Slow progress is a good thing. Slow and steady wins the race and it gives me time to really learn the job and shine.
  2. No Stress: I walk out the office door and the job stays there. No a lot of people can say that.
  3. It’s paying the bills. May not have any extra but I am blessed to have my needs met.
  4. Not a big commute. I drive less than 30 minutes one way and only on the freeway for 2 miles. Got to love that.
  5. Close to home and family.
  6. No weekends. This is the first job I have had that started out with no weekend work.
  7. The hours are great. Normal working hours during the day.
  8. Medical benefits. They may not be great but they get the job done.
  9. Attire: Dress casual. I couldn’t afford a brand new wardrobe, but was able to afford the clothes I needed.
  10. No contact with the everyday public.  That’s something new for me. Kind of like it.
  11. No more customer service phone calls with crazy people.
  12. Vacation time already started. I didn’t have to wait 6 months to a year to have time off.
  13. No headset glued to my ears for 8 hours a day.
  14. Fast paced but very doable.
  15. Different type of work environment. This gives me the opportunity to handle something new.
  16. Making a few new friends.
  17. Opportunities to learn new things.

 I am very blessed to have this job. It may be awkward at times but the blessings outweigh the awkwardness. Who knows what the future holds for me but I continue to find the blessings in everything in my life.