Mother of Necessity

because sometimes, you just have to.


Do We Cater To Our Kids?


In my opinion, Yes I think parents today do cater to their kids. I know I am going to make some people upset with this blog. This blog is about what I witness at the store, restaurants, church, and the park, everywhere I go.

I see it every day. I see parents buying toys kids don’t need just to stop them from crying in the store. I hear moms asking their kids what they want to eat when grocery shopping. I hear kids telling their parents “NO” when mom asks them to stop acting up and mom just goes on and ignores the child.

I hear parents say they want to give their children everything they didn’t have. That’s great that you want your kids to have “things”. But do you have to give it to them at their beckon call? Why can’t they earn the “things” you are wanting to give your child?  We can teach our children that things in life aren’t for free and that you have to earn the things you want in life. Hard work has its rewards.

I hear parents say I don’t want to hurt their feelings by telling them “no”. What??? Really???

Do you really think this is how the world is? Isn’t it better that we hurt their feelings and teach them how to react better and do better? I hurt my kids feeling all the time, just so I can teach him. You can get over having your feelings hurt.

Seriously, I have never had a job where my boss didn’t say no to me. Boy, wouldn’t that be nice though. It sure would be nice to ask my boss to get paid and not work for the next 3 months and the boss says sure that sounds great…….go ahead.  Reality is your boss will laugh at you and probably make you work harder just to prove a point.

In the real world, we are told no all the time. No, you can’t drive 100 mph. No, you can’t drink and drive. No, you can’t have a raise. No, you can’t have the weekend off and so on.

Saying “No” to our kids is a way of life. We will teach them that sometimes we have to wait, or do without. We teach them there are rules to follow for their safety. We teach them that sometimes we don’t always get what we want. Even when it’s deserved.

I hear parents say, I want my child and me to be friends. Well, don’t we all want that, but let’s be real here. Our kids don’t need us to be their friends, we are their parents and that role includes discipline, rules, chores, curfews, love and respect. The friendship role comes later, much later.

When we are our child’s friend we are not teaching them to respect authority or us as parents. We are not setting guidelines for them to learn from. We are not setting the example of what a parent is. We are not teaching them limitations. We are not showing them right from wrong.

My question is: Are we doing our kids a favor or an injustice by catering to them?

My Answer: We are doing an injustice. Because we are teaching our kids to be ‘entitled’ adults.

If we as the parents are not teaching our children respect, rules, the word ‘No”, or giving them everything they want when they want it, we are raising a group of ‘entitled’ adults.

The way I see it, these group of children with have a much tougher time being accepted with friends, employers and co-workers. Because they are expecting everything to go their way. They are expecting a job to fall in their laps without having to make a resume. These kids are expecting to dress any way they want to go to a job interview or work. They are expecting the maximum income just because they think they deserve the max paycheck without any experience in the job. These kids will think that speaking ghetto will fly in the work force.

These kids are set up for failure. All because we as parents didn’t do our jobs and train our kids to respect others, work hard to earn what they want or deserve.

I’m not just picking on you. I have made some of these mistakes too. I protected my kid way too much. And he is paying the price now. It’s harder to watch them fail as adults then to train them right in the first place.

We are hurting our kids and their futures. Heck, we are hurting our own future because this group of kids will be running the country in 20-30 years.  Now that’s a scary thought. A group of entitled individuals running the country. We think it is bad now, Just wait.

Here’s a question for you to ponder: If your parents raised you by telling you “No”, made you earn the things you wanted, gave you curfews, you had chores and rules to follow: Why is this not good enough for our kids too?

If it’s not broke, don’t fix it. Work with what you already know is right and you can’t go wrong.

My intent here was not to offend anyone but to enlighten folks on what I witness every day. We are the parents, it’s our job to do right by our kids. I am not the perfect parent. I admit that. But I have done the best I could for my son to be a respectful, loving, hard-working, kind man. He will be the first to tell you, he has NEVER had anything handed to him. He has a better appreciation for what he does earn. He has pride in his work and the things he has accomplished.

We as parents, just like our parents did for us. Must Do Better. Not just give in to our kids but teach them.

Tell me your thoughts on this topic. Would love to hear your feedback.