I think this is my son’s favorite past-time. I realize he is still young and can freak out about things he encounters for the first time. But, really to stay in that freak-out mode and to build on it, just seems tiresome to me.
Let me set the stage. A few months ago my son had to replace the engine in his car. He had many choices to pick from but he decided to replace the engine. In this situation he did not freak out at all. (I did for a few minutes).
A few days ago, his car wouldn’t start. He checked everything and he could not find the issue. He comes in the house and is just deflated, his attitude is bad and he’s talking about how his savings will be gone once he gets the car fixed.
He continues to rant about how this, that and the other won’t work out. He just kept building layer after layer of how bad all this is, without even knowing what is wrong with the car or how much it will cost to fix.
He stayed in this phase/mode/mindset for over a day. Never taking any action to resolve the car issue.
As some of you know, once your kid reaches a certain age, we as parents can’t tell them anything. So, I didn’t say a word till he asked me.
That’s when I asked if he called our mechanic, he said “no”.
Here I go being a mom and telling my adult kid what to do. I tell him to get on the phone and make sure the mechanic can take care of the car within a couple of days. And then tell him to call for a tow truck to take the car to the mechanic.
He comes back to me and says the car will be picked up the next day and the mechanic will be ready for the car. Awesome….wheels in motion (pun intended).
The next day everything is done and within a few hours the mechanic calls my son to tell him it was nothing major just a faulty spark plug and he can pick up the car anytime.
Best part, not a lot of money out of my son’s savings.
He drove himself crazy for 2 days all because he made things worse then they were and expected the worst thing to happen. And it wasn’t that way at all.
My brother likes to say this kind of action is ‘going from zero to hammered’. I call it, making a mountain out of a mole hill.
We all do this to ourselves at some point. For me, I’m ok with being in that stage for a minute or two. But to stay in that stage for a day or longer is just ridiculous.
Nothing gets accomplished and your stress level goes through the roof. Then fear sets in because we are afraid of the outcome. All because we went on a tangent to make things worse for ourselves.
We make thigs out to be worse than they really are.
Nothing is as a bad as it seems (most of the time)
Don’t let a problem sit and boil, get busy and resolve issue (ASAP)
Take a breath when a problem comes up and then tackle said problem.
I hope my son’s example of what not to do is helpful for you.
Tell me a time when you made a mountain out of a mole hill and how you resolved the problem or what you had learned.