Mother of Necessity

because sometimes, you just have to.


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The Kid

 

The Kid at 18 months

The Kid at 18 months

I know today is not my normal day to post, But this week is special.

This week is my son’s 25th Birthday. There is no way I have a kid that is that old. Isn’t it a parent’s right to embarrass them? He has no idea I am writing about him. I will have him read this after I post. This way he has no say in what I write. I know…I’m a mean mom.

I know every parent says they have the best kids “EVER”, I am no exception. I have the BESTEST KID EVER!!!!

It’s just been the kid and I for a very long time. He has always been my biggest cheerleader. He is my son and I am proud to say he is my friend too.

We can chat for hours about nothing or about serious topics. We don’t always share the same views but I love that he doesn’t conform to what I think. (Most of the time)

He has a beautiful mind and he blows me away with his ideas. I would consider him an “idea man”. He has some great theories on how to rebuild our public school system, which needs some work in my opinion. He was ideas on new products and even new fuels.

I am his sounding board. He comes to me and shares his ideas, and I am the one that tells him his idea won’t work or challenge him to prove to me why the idea would work. We make a good team. His idea may be in the clouds and I am the naysayer.  You never know if one of those crazy ideas or theories will come into play some day. I’m hoping……he’s my retirement program.

Over the years we have had some ups and downs, but he continues to love his mom. He is so respectful towards me. He may not like me at times but he has never disrespected me. I must have done something right.

The Kid at 4

The Kid at 4

He is an old soul. When he was 4 he looked like a little man. He has always asked the hard questions and wanted the big answers. He never settled for the simple version that you can tell most kids.

At the age of 3 we were in the car having a nice summer Sunday drive and he asked me…How do you pray? I simply responded by saying, “you just talk to God like you do with anyone”. Thinking this would be a good enough answer for a 3 year old. Before I knew what was going on. He is yelling “HEY GOD” out the back window of the car at a stop light in town with about 20 people at a nearby ice cream shop.

I turn around and ask him what he is doing and without hesitation he responds…”I’m just making sure God hears me since He’s in heaven”. 

That’s when I knew my hand were going to be full for a long time and I needed to provide more concise answers to his questions. 

You know how most kids go through the “why” stage.  Where they are always asking why to everything you say or tell them. Well my son went through the “What’s that” stage for almost 2 years. This stage started when he could first put 2 words together. These were his first two words.

If I didn’t respond to his question he would ask “what’s that” till I gave him the answer he was looking for. This stage drove me nuts. It didn’t matter what it was, he HAD to know.  If he saw a real cow he would ask “what’s that”. If I was holding a piece of paper, I got the question. I couldn’t respond just by telling him it was paper. I had to tell him what color the paper was, what was on the paper, if the paper was for him or until he was satisfied with my response.

Thank goodness that was a phase and I no longer have to answer that question. I think I used up all my answers. He is still inquisitive but now he does his own research and I don’t have to hear….What’s That? (I kind of miss it)

The Kid at 16

The Kid at 16

He is a wonderful kid. I have never had to worry that he was hanging out with the wrong friends. Never had to worry when he was coming home or who he was talking to on the phone.

I always knew where he was and knew every friend he had. I didn’t even have to give him a curfew. He was always home at a reasonable time.

My kid is bright, inquisitive, respectful, caring, sweet, kind and handsome.

We lived a few blocks from an Aunt. He would go visit with her after school. They would talk and eat Popsicles. Our Aunt was sick and lived by herself. The kid loved his aunt so much that at 12-13 year old he would take the time and go visit with her because he wanted to. Not because I made him or even suggested. He did this on his own. I have to say, that is one of the sweetest things he has done.

He is an American history buff. He can talk your ear off about all the wars.

The kid likes meteorology. He can tell you when it’s going to rain just by looking at the clouds.

 He’s good at math. He passed a calculus course in college and never had a class in high school.

He likes to learn things on his own. He will study a topic for hours just to learn all he can. Not because he has too, but because he likes learning.

He loves physics. Now that’s a subject that he always has to explain to me.

He reads poetry to relax. He likes Emily Dickinson, Edger Allen Poe and Walt Whitman.

He loves cars. He can tell you almost every make/model and year of any car. His favorites are muscle cars from the 70’s. He has been a car fan since he was 10 months old.

He loves music. He listens to almost anything from classical to thrash. He’s not a fan of opera or rap.

I know I’m bragging but this will probably be the last time I will be able to do this in public. Because he’s going to hate me after I post this.

I have to say I am a lucky mom to have such a wonderful kid. I tell people God took pity upon me when He gave me The Kid. I think God looked down on me and thought….She isn’t the brightest crayon in the box, let me give her a good kid that won’t cause too many problems.

Whatever the reason, I am grateful and overly blessed to be this kid’s mom.

He is the best thing I have ever done with my life. He is constantly teaching me things and inspires me to be better. I love every minute of being your mom. I would do it all again, a thousand times over.

Thanks Kid for being such a great son. I will always be proud of you. I will always be in your corner.

I hope this year is your most fulfilling and successful year yet. Happy Birthday, Bud.

Hey!! Guess what?  Love you.  (Inside joke)

The Kid and me 2014

The Kid and me 2014

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6 Things I Have Learned From My Son

 

I don’t want to admit it. But my son has been a great teacher to me. He doesn’t even know that he’s been my teacher for 24 years.

I have been blessed with a wonderful child. He continues to amaze me (good or bad) every day. There’s not a day that passes that I am grateful to be his mom.

I want to share a few things he has taught me over the years.

Unconditional Love: The moment that I held him for the first time, I really understood what unconditional love meant. I never knew there was so much love inside me, till I saw that little precious face looking back at me. It was as if my heart had grown to its full potential at that very moment. If I had never birth to my son, I don’t think I would have known that true unconditional love was possible. There was nothing in this world that could stop me from loving him, ever.

Forgiveness: He is so forgiving. If I mess up, he’s the first to say “it’s ok mom”. Even after 24 years, he has forgiven me for all the BIG mistakes I have made.  

My son set the example for me on forgiveness. I figured if my son can be so forgiving then,  so can I.

My son at 9 months old. Too cute.

My son at 9 months old. Too cute.

Communication:  I am a simple girl. My son, however is not simple. He is smart, technical and analytical. From an early age he would explain things in technical terms. I had a hard time following along. I had to learn a new way of communicating so I could connect with him. Raising this young man, has taught me many different ways to communicate. I know can relate to science, physics, and math when I talk with him.

If I didn’t have this type of child I don’t think writing a book or blogging would have come true.

All those years I thought I knew how to relate and talk to almost anyone. I was so wrong.

Keeping An Open Mind: Because my son is so technical and analytical, he has some ideas, theories and thoughts that are mind blowing. Or at least to me they are.  

I have to keep an open mind when he shares those ideas and thoughts with me. I never know when a great idea will come. He has ideas on how to make the public school system better, theories on a new kind of fuel, and even ideas about a new candy. As his mom I want him to think outside the box, so this makes me have an open mind and not shoot down every crazy or great idea he has.

Tolerance: I can honestly say my son is not like me. Relating to him has been a tough journey for me. He is so different then I am. He’s smart, I’m not. He’s like Sheldon from “Big Bang Theory” and I’m like Penny. Anyone that knows him tells me the same thing. He’s so smart, I can’t follow along with him.

He taught me to be tolerant and to accept his uniqueness.

I had to learn to be more tolerant of someone that was so different than me. Don’t get me wrong. I am tolerant of others that are different, but when you are raising someone that does not display anything that you can relate to, is difficult. Lots of listening, questions and understanding went into this lesson.

True joy: For me, being a mom is the one thing that brings me pure joy. Even through the awful times. I have joy in my heart because of my son. We may have arguments, and difficult times, but I still have that joy in my heart.

I didn’t know you could find joy in a disagreement. We can be in the midst of an argument and we will always find something funny and laugh together. He usually corrects my grammar in those moments.

He taught me that joy comes from loving someone with your whole heart.

What a wonderful thing to teach someone.

He brings me so much joy.

Tell me what your kids have taught you. I would love to hear your stories.