Mother of Necessity

because sometimes, you just have to.


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My Journey: Mom and Dad – The Little Things

the little things

You don’t realize how important the little things mean till you watch someone else find joy, peace or pleasure from those little things.

Watching my mom during her hospital stay for the last three weeks was tough. The first few days were the hardest for all of us.

The little things, like watching Mom brush her teeth for the first time after 2 days in bed. She gave me a nice smile and an AHHH!!! I know that had too feel good even though she was still confused and agitated at the time.

My sister doing mom’s hair. That gave her a few minutes of contentment. Mom is always concerned about her hair. My sister did a great job helping mom feel better after her hair was combed, teased and fixed the way she likes it.

Getting a bath. Even if it’s not a real bath. Just having someone clean you up and give you a new gown to sleep in. The nurse was so loving during that time and I could see mom relax a little.

Resting on clean sheets. We all know how nice it is to crawl into a bed with clean sheets. Mom would have a few minutes of peace whenever the nurses or techs changed her bed.

Giving Dad a break from the hospital and seeing his smile when he walked back in the room.

I never knew how much pleasure could come from someone eating ice cream or whipped cream. My mom has a sweet tooth. She eat sweets over any food you put in front of her.

Through her confused state Mom could not order food for herself. We always ordered something sweet, fruits, Jell-O with whipped cream and/or ice cream. She loved the fruits but when we ordered Jell-O with the whipped cream, she would reach for that first, scoop off a spoonful of whipped cream and you could watch her face relax and she would be happy. She did the same thing with the ice cream.

Finally after days of restlessness watching my mom find a comfortable spot on the bed, cover her head with a fuzzy blanket and fall asleep. There is nothing like finding that right position and sleeping soundly. Having a peaceful sleep does the body good.

Hearing your mom snore. That brought all of us peace and joy. Knowing mom was getting the rest she needed was fantastic. We would stop worrying for a while and she was resting peacefully.

Having someone hold your hand and pray for you. Anytime there was a prayer we all held hands and I could see my mom relax a little. If you were holding her hand she would start out with a good grip but by the end her grip had loosened and her body would relax during the prayer.

Lip balm brought relief to mom. If you have ever been in the hospital, you know lip balm is a must. For whatever reason your lips get chapped. We did have to go through several lip balms to find the right one for her. Once we did, she was happy and she felt better not having chapped lips.

Having a pillow and fuzzy blanket from home. We all sleep better in our own bed. When you can’t sleep at home you bring your pillow and blanket with you. It’s like watching a sleeping baby. It brought a smile to my face knowing my mom was comfortable.

The little things are so important, they may not seem like much at the time but if you are sick those little things add up.

***Mom is finally home from the hospital and physical therapy. She is doing better. There’s nothing like the comfort of your own bed and relaxing in your favorite chair. Being surrounded by your loved ones and setting in the house that you worked so hard to make a home.

I am so thankful this little ordeal is over and Mom is back home. Thank you all so much for your love, support and understanding.


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My Journey: Mom and Dad – Blessings

blessingsAs Mom’s hospital stay began to get better I was able to look at the week and reflect on the blessings we had.

I am thankful she fell. If she would not have fallen we would not have known that her blood pressure would bottom out when she stood. This could have caused more damage than the fall or worse it could have killed her. So, yes, I am thankful she fell so the doctors could find the problem and fix it.

We were blessed with some good doctors in the ER. Dr. Padgett was the one that decided she needed to stay overnight. If it weren’t for him, Mom would have come home and maybe fallen again and we would have never known about the blood pressure issue or her being dehydrated.

We were blessed with some amazing nurses and technicians. These ladies were God sent. They were so attentive to mom and my family.

The first tech we had, Trish went to the same church that long time family friends attend. She prayed for my mom right there in the room. Trish prayed several times with our family as she attended to Mom.

The night nurse, Melissa was fantastic. She was the nurse on duty when I spent the night with mom. We ran her to death. Melissa was in Mom’s room every 30 minutes making sure everything was ok, trying to settle mom down or taking mom to the bathroom. Melissa did this with a smile and had the patience like none other.

Hanna, Sue, Alice, Amber, Angela, Jenny and Taylor were all amazing. Taking care of Mom and even us. They all went above the call of duty. My family was blessed to have such a great team of care givers. Not one nurse or tech was unpleasant. They all walked into the room with a smile on their face and treated Mom like a queen.

I was blessed to meet the ‘environmentalist’, Martina. She came in to clean Mom’s room. She and I had a nice chat. I discovered that she missed Church Sunday morning because she switched shifts to help a co-worker. I said I missed Church too. She asked why mom was there. I shared our story. She cried with me and asked if she could pray for us. I gladly said ‘yes’. Martina mentioned that she would add Mom to her church prayer list.

We are blessed to have such a great family. So many calling to check on Mom. A lot of emails have been sent with their concerns and prayers. Many of them coming to the hospital to visit mom and to check on us.

My folks are blessed with great friends. Many calling almost every day to check on both of them.

Blessed that my folks church family is so supportive and for the continuous prayers.

We are blessed with the jobs my siblings and I have, that allowed us to stay with Mom anytime we needed to.

There have been so many people involved over the past week that we were blessed with. I know I am not remembering all of them. If I left anyone out, just know you have been a blessing to me and my family.

I am blessed to have readers like you that support me and show your love and understanding with likes and comments.

I am humbled by the out-pouring love, concern and prayers for my family.


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Music Monday: LaPorsha Renea

AMerican idolI have been an American Idol fan since season 3. I haven’t always enjoyed the show or some of the judges but I do enjoy listening to all the singers.

I have had my favorites over the years but none that has struck me from the beginning. That would be LaPorsha Renea. Her back story is sad but she has the spirit of a survivor. I love that. To top it off she is an amazing singer.

I am a fan and thought I would share.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpt_kGf5LWE  “Diamonds”

She received one of the longest standing ovations and cheers for the song Diamonds. Just amazing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zQHXa7Pt-M “Summertime”

La’Porsha Renae & Fantasia what a great duet. Summertime is the song Fantasia sang in her season to win American Idol.

I hope you have a great week. Keep your radio on and keep singing that tune in your head.


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40 Things Money Can’t Buy

It’s been another busy week. As I am finally settling down to relax, my mind shifts to my surroundings and I think of all the money I have spent on ‘stuff’. Stuff that really has no other purpose than to make my home feel aesthetically pleasing.

I look around and realize that most of the “stuff” I have I don’t need. I can live without the mirror in the hall, I don’t have to have a picture/photo on every wall. I really don’t need all these trinkets/knickknacks on every shelf. I don’t even need the shelf.

No Money

This made me think of things that I don’t spend money on and how much joy I have by NOT spending money on “stuff”.

  1. Feeling the warmth of the sun on my face.
  2. Listening to the leaves blow on the trees
  3. Seeing “The Kid” smile
  4. Spending time with my mom and dad
  5. Listening to dad tell a funny story
  6. Listening to mom talk about her siblings
  7. Laughing with my sister
  8. Listening to music with my brother
  9. Seeing a beautiful sunset
  10. Having a great conversation with one of my cousins
  11. Learning something new
  12. Spending time in prayer
  13. Watching my great nephew play with his Papaw
  14. Watching the ducks/geese play at our local park
  15. Sharing a meal with a loved one
  16. Accomplishing a task  
  17. Helping my neighbor with a chore
  18. Opening up the windows and doors on a beautiful spring day
  19. The smell of a freshly cut lawn
  20. Watching the success of my niece and nephew
  21. Listening to my Mom’s siblings sing from old recordings
  22. Hearing a great sermon preached
  23. Taking a long hot shower
  24. Going through old photos
  25. Singing, even though I sound terrible
  26. Dancing in the kitchen with “the Kid”
  27. Making my mom laugh
  28. A good night’s rest
  29. A good day’s work
  30. People watching
  31. Making my “To-do” lists for the week
  32. Quiet time to reflect
  33. Taking a drive…..Yes, I know I spent money on the gas.
  34. Taking photos on my drive
  35. Taking a walk
  36. Writing a blog
  37. Seeing my family having fun and making memories
  38. Getting organized
  39. Listening to music
  40. Being surrounded by God’s creations.

As I write this, my house is open, the sun is shining through. I hear cyclist on the bike path, children playing on my street. A soft cool breeze is blowing through the house. I smell someone grilling out for the first time this year. I also smell one of my neighbors baking a cake or cookies. I hear “The Kid” laughing in his room while he plays an on-line game.

I have heard a great sermon and listened to some great music. I have made mom laugh today. I have achieved a few tasks and now off to fix food for my loved ones.

Could my day be any better?  I don’t think so. And I didn’t spend a penny. I have had a full enriched, joyful day. The best part, it’s not over yet.

How do you find your joy without spending any money?


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My Journey: Mom and Dad – Music At Home

To set the stage: As most of you know my mom, her brothers and sisters sang in church or whenever there was 2 or more of them everywhere they went. I grew up listening to my Aunts and Uncles singing, in their homes to us kids (cousins) and in church. We were surrounded by music.  I loved it.

When my Aunts and Uncles were sick in the hospital, nursing home or at home a few of them would gather and sing to the ailing one. This brought joy to all that was in attendance. It brought peace and joy to the one in bed. It brought comfort to the ones singing and joy to the ones listening. It was a beautiful, inspirational, moving and heartfelt moment.

A couple of weeks ago Dad had an appointment and needed someone to set with Mom. None of us kids could do it since it was during the day and we were all working. Dad called a family friend from their church, Ms. Rhonda. She graciously accepted the invitation to be with Mom a few hours.

Mom and Ms. Rhonda shared a lovely visit but Ms. Rhonda went above the call of duty. From her visit she walked away with a request my mom had and took on that challenge. My mom told Ms. Rhonda that see wanted someone to come sing to her. Within hours of their visit Ms. Rhonda was on the phone contacting the Dye family. You remember the Dye’s? I featured Daniel a couple of Mondays ago.

Shortly after the call, I have Amy reaching out to me asking what Mom’s favorite hymns are. Amy and I chatted a few minutes and I met up with her a couple of days later to share my mom’s family music with her and provide her a list of songs.

Within 24 hours of our meeting, 6 Dye family members were at Mom and Dad’s house singing for Mom. That’s right, I said 24 hours. The Dye’s prepared 7 songs and learned a new song within those 24 hours. This family is amazing to say the least.

The Dye’s visited for a while, shared some stories and listened to a few stories as well. We all laughed and even cried. They were there for about an hour but what an uplifting, spiritual moving visit it was.

The Dye family singing for Mom

The Dye family singing for Mom

I am forever grateful for Ms. Rhonda making that phone call and for the Dye family excepting the challenge. You all are a gift from God and my little family is forever blessed to know you.

Thank you Ms. Rhonda for getting the ball rolling and for taking the time to spend with my Mom. You are a sweetheart and a true servant of God. If it weren’t for you our family would not have had such a special visit and a wonderful spiritual uplifting.

Thank you Dye family. Thank you for bringing joy and music into my mom’s home. You gave her something our family could not. That was a family singing to someone that is sick. Since my mom no longer has her sisters to sing to her and there are only 2 brothers left, it’s hard to have them sing to her. You warmed her heart with song. Thank you for that. Thank you for the kind words and loving my family.

I want to thank the Dye family for allowing me to record their visit and allowing me to share this story and music on my blog.

Here are few songs The Dye’s sang for mom. I hope you enjoy.

https://soundcloud.com/motherofnecessity/id-rather-have-jesushttps://soundcloud.com/motherofnecessity/blessed-assurance-this-is-my-storyhttps://soundcloud.com/motherofnecessity/the-sun-will-rise

 


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Music Monday: Joey and Rory

Photo By: countrymusictattletale.com

Photo By: countrymusictattletale.com

I came across this song a few weeks ago and it reminded me of how I grew up. Some may think this is an awful song but for me this is my foundation. My folks were raised this way. They raised all 3 of us kids this way and I raised my son in this manner too.

We were raised to do the right thing, meaning the Christian way. We were raised on the word of God, to show respect to our elders, to be honest, be forgiving, to love with an open heart, to help others in any way we could and to love the Lord.

I am grateful for being raised this way. I am a better person because my parents didn’t spoil us.

Joey & Rory: A Bible and A Belt: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yESgfK5Lqk

Sorry if this offends anyone. Just sharing my views.

I hope you have a great Monday and a beautiful week. Be grateful in what you have and go hug your parents.

 


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My Journey: Mom and Dad-Getting Organized

ducks in a rowWhen a family is going through the tragedy of preparing for the final stages before the passing of a loved one, you tend to be overwhelmed and consumed with more important things. Being organized is the last thing you are thinking about.

The past few weeks have been chaotic to say the least for me. Just for my own sanity, I need to get organized. I NEED to have that sense of being in control of something, well anything. Getting my ducks in a row helps me do that.

Here are some things I am currently working on.

This past week I have gathered photos of mom, her family, Dad, us kids and the grandbabies to make a photo slideshow at Mom’s viewing (when the time comes). I have scanned all photos into my computer and have edited each one to make them better.

This was a hard task to do. But also very enjoyable. I got the chance to talk to mom about each photo, listen to stories I’ve never heard before. The best part was, it was like I was seeing these photos for the first time. Looking at them with new eyes. I never realized how pretty my mom is. She and my dad made the cutest couple. The biggest surprise was, I didn’t realize how much my sister looks like mom.

Now the only thing left for the slideshow is picking out a few songs to play while the video is scrolling through. Another tough challenge but I am up for that one. It should be fun listening to some beautiful piano music. Mom just loves a great pianist.

The other thing I am working on is a guest book (so to speak) for Mom/Dad’s house. Since all of kids work, we miss out on visitors to their house during the day. It’s nice for us to know they are not alone.

I was also thinking this is a great way to remember to thank the ones that have stopped by, brought food, helped out with chores or just volunteered to set with Mom while Dad ran some errands.

Not only that, if I don’t send Thank You cards out or miss someone, Mom would be disappointed with me. Mom is very proper when it comes to these sort of things. She always sent out hand written thank you notes within a week. I have some big shoes to fill.

I figured a guest book for their house would be a great easy way for me to stay up on all the visitors. This way the guests can sign in, let us know if they brought food, visited or helped in anyway. And I can be sure to thank them properly.

This weekend I will be bringing a notebook and pen to keep at their house so we can take notes on any arrangements that need to be made, write down songs she would like to have played, jot down anything we deem important or would like to remember and leave notes for the siblings.

I know all of this seems trivial in the grand scheme of things. I will be honest, I thought it was kind of odd too. But I’m here to tell you, it helps. I am not searching my home or purse for that one little piece of paper that had a note on it that mom wanted me to remember.

I will not be rushing around the last minute trying to go through photos (that will tear me apart) to make a slideshow. I know for a fact how hard it is to look through photos just after a death. I have helped a couple of cousins with this. 

I won’t have to worry if I missed someone for Thank You cards. I will have my list. And you all know how much I love lists.

This is just the beginning stages. There will be more challenges ahead. But for this week. I feel like I am on my game. I’m probably not but I do love the sense of control I have with these steps I have taken this week.

I hope in the weeks/months to come I can stay on top of all the balls in the air. Only time will tell. For now this is good thing.

If you have any helpful tips I would love to hear them. I can use any help I can get.