Mother of Necessity

because sometimes, you just have to.


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Music Monday: Daniel Dye and The Miller Road Band

Photo by: Jennifer Crews Photography

Photo by: Jennifer Crews Photography

My sister and I went to school with the Dye family. A great family full of musical talent. Daniel Dye is one of our local artist. I wanted to share his music with you all. He’s a great songwriter.

Recently a city in my home state was named the saddest city in Ohio. This is also the same city that was named one of the top 10 ghettos in Ohio. To be honest. It’s not that bad but this city does have its moments.  Click he link to read article: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/welcome-to-springfield-ohio-the-unhappiest-city-in-the-us/article4612263/

I remember growing up and going to this city to shop for clothes and shoes or to go to a restaurant. So many of those places are closed and the buildings remain empty. So I guess you could say it’s sad to have watched a thriving city at one time diminish too quickly.

Daniel wrote this song about the saddest city in Ohio. Take a listen. I think you will find Daniel Dye and the Miller Road Band a nice addition to your collection. I know I have.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuR4v8NoTpw

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Taking a Breath

time outWith so much going on lately I decided to just set and take a breath. I needed to reflect on….. Well, everything.

The past few months have been a wild ride. I started a new job, getting adjusted to job, there was a death in the family, Mom and all her health struggles, “The Kid” and all his indecisiveness, unfinished projects and this roller coaster ride of emotions. It’s been overwhelming to say the least.

I realize that what is on my plate most people can slide on by without missing a beat. I do not have that type of personality. I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders by choice. I don’t know why but I do. So here I am…Needing that minute to catch up and catch my breath.

I needed to get some perspective, grieve, get caught up and just breathe for a few minutes.

The past few days have been good. I have been able to get a few projects done, started a new project. I gave myself the opportunity to grieve for my uncle and really think about what he had done for me and the family. I had a great conversation with “The Kid” that was long overdue. I am getting more comfortable with the job.

I need to practice what I preach more often. I forgot to reflect on everyday and find the joy in each moment. I was being selfish and only thinking about what I was feeling or doing. I was having a pity party for myself. That is no place to be when you have so much going on. You forget about the little things and focus on the weight you are carrying.

That is not good for anyone. We all need to reflect and take a moment to breathe through the junk so we can find some peace in the crazy around us. 

Once I began to settle into my reflections I realized that I had missed a few blessings this week.

Mom, my sister and I had a great visit the other day. All 3 of us laughed till we cried. I hadn’t seen mom do that in years.  It was a sweet moment to watch and be a part of. It warmed my heart listening to my mom, my sister and I joke around, laugh and have a fun time. I’m going to miss that.

I had a few cousins and some family friends check in on me, just to see how I was doing. What a blessing to have people care for you that they take the time to show you how much.

My new friend at work has been very supportive. She listens to me while I share stories about my family and laughs with me at our goofiness. She is a sweet heart. What a blessing to have a new friend.

What a blessing to have one of my fellow bloggers reach out with such kind, loving words of encouragement. Thank you nopassingfancy.  Check out her blog at…….. https://nopassingfancy.wordpress.com/. 

I am hoping and praying that this week coming up I will be able to stop, take a breath and reflect on the good moments and not hold onto the heaviness of my emotions.

I encourage you to join me on taking a breath to enjoy the things around you.


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My Journey: Mom & Dad-Sharing The News

newsThis past week was a little better for me. The week before had me on a nasty emotional roller coaster ride. I would get up in the morning, get ready for work and everything was fine. After being at work for an hour or 2, thoughts would overwhelm me and I would be weeping at my desk. The next day seemed to go fine but on my drive home I would be in tears again. It was like this the whole week. I was exhausted.

So many thoughts and emotions go through my head, I can’t help but cry. Which leads me to this blog.

I was asked by mom to inform the family that she was in stage 4 Cirrhosis of the liver. I was glad to take that burden off her shoulders. She didn’t need the stress of telling the same diagnosis to 30-40 family members.

Mom also asked me to inform their friends that she and Dad have known for 60 plus years.

For the family I knew it would be too hard even for me to make those phone calls. I decided that I would send one email to everyone.  I know it’s not very personable but I just couldn’t go through those emotions at that time. That was a tough email to write. I am just an amateur blogger. Sometimes words do NOT come easy for me. That email put me to the test.

I was able to conjure up words that made sense and inform almost all the first cousins. (Sad to say that I was only informing cousins because out of the 14 brothers and sister mom has there are only 2 brothers left. Mom informed them of her news). I received many phone calls and emails letting us know that they are thinking and praying for our family.

Within hours of sending the email, I was full of love and support from so many responding. Many telling me that if I needed anything that they would be there for me. That gave me great peace of mind knowing there are so many that are willing to be there for me (mom/dad).  So many shared their love and concerns. So many were heartbroken for Mom and our family.

Shortly after I sent the email, I decided to call Mom and Dad’s friends. These are folks I have known all my life. People that went to school with my parents. A long line of history is there.

Our families would get together and all of us kids would play while the parents would play card games eat, and have a great time. I have so many memories with these families.

My sister and I even had a couple of these ladies helping in our school.  These ladies watched us grow up and helped us become the people we are today. Thank you.

I knew that call was going to difficult. The first call I made was to Mrs. B. I didn’t beat around the bush I just blurted it out……”Mom is in stage 4”. I know I took her by surprise but she was great. Mrs. B helped me. She was saddened by the news but she was very uplifting to me. She took the burden off my shoulders and informed the other friends in the group about mom.

What a blessing. Thank you Mrs. B for lightening my load. Thank you for being so kind and supportive. Thank you for informing others and carrying that load for me.

Once I got off the phone, I was on overload with emotions. The emotions of having to inform so many of such awful news. Worrying how this news would affect them. Saddened by the sorrow so many were feeling that night. Realizing that I had just upset some households, I was beside myself.  My dealing with my own emotions on the severity of this reality.

It’s hard for me to put into words the range of emotions I am going through daily. I am hoping, someday I will be able to vocalize those emotions into written form. But for now, I will stumble through the blogs and my emotions.

Thank you to my readers for your loving and supportive comments, likes and shares. You are fantastic!!!! I know the last few posts have not been the most positive in nature (I’m working on that), Thank you for your understanding.

Just a reminder to myself. I may be a raw emotional wreck, but I have people that love me and want to help. Remember to reflect at the end of the day and look for the little things that made you smile or better yet lightened your load. There are blessings out there, sometimes you have to search for them. Take the time, it will always be worth the look.


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Music Monday: Leon Russell

Photo by:  commons.wikimedia.org

Photo by: commons.wikimedia.org

I love 70’s music. Leon has to be a staple if you listen to 70’s rock. He has performed for and with so many. A wonderful performer, a beautiful songwriter and a magical piano player.

I hope you have a wonderful week. Keep searching for the little things each day that bring you joy.

Leon Russell A Hard Rains Gonna Fall:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvXj_WjTU5Y


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My Journey: Mom & Dad-Accepting

hugs

 

Onto the next journey which has already been in motion for a while. That’s the journey I am on with my parents.

As we know, when our parents get older the roles can be reversed and we begin to care for them instead of them caring for us.

If you have read my blogs about my folks you know that Dad is a heart patient and Mom has stage 4 Cirrhosis of the liver (non-alcoholic) and a heart patient. Both are in their 70’s, their health is declining and things are getting harder for them to do.

It’s sad to watch such strong, independent, self-assured, and capable individuals decline. Even if it’s just a little bit and one thing at a time.

My parents have always done things on their own. They have remodeled their home, built a garage, taken care of their property, repaired things around their home, planted gardens, raised 3 kids, taken care of 3 grandkids, helped others, worked in their church and have always been the ones called upon for assistance. My parents have been there for so many.

Now the shoe is on the other foot. Now my parents are the ones needing assistance. Granted they are still very capable of doing so many things, but need some help doing others.

As their child I am heartbroken for them. I know neither one of them want to relinquish their independence or admit that they need help sometimes. It has got to be difficult to ask for help when just a year ago they were capable. What a difference a year makes.

I can only imagine their own struggles they have. They say growing old is not for the weak. I am beginning to understand that statement more and more each day.

This journey I am on with my parents will be tough and heart wrenching. The one thing I am sure of is, I will not regret going on this ride. There have been rides that I have taken in the past and regret but this will not be one of them.

With their permission I will be sharing this journey we are on. Granted most of the posts will be about my journey and sharing a glimpse of theirs. I am not looking for sympathy or kudos. I just thought this would be a good outlet for me and maybe a way to help others that may have to jump on the same type of ride.

 Stage #1 (for me)-Accepting the fact that my parents are not invincible. As children and even adults we want to believe that our parents will be with us forever. The reality is most likely they will not.

Accepting that they need your help. I didn’t want to help because I was holding onto my parents were invincible. If I helped then I had to let go of the dream that they would never perish.

Accepting that my own personal priorities will change. My folks come first and everything else is second.

Accepting that my role as a daughter has changed and will continue to change.

Accepting the new emotional roller coaster ride I am on.

Accepting the reality that they are very sick.

Accepting responsibilities that my folks bestow upon me with grace and love.

Accepting hugs out of the blue.  

Accepting the blessing that will come from this journey.

Yes, I did say, “blessings” I know there will be because I have already had a few.
For right now it’s learning to accept whatever is thrown at us.

I know for me, I will do my hardest to find the blessings even in the emotional craziness that may consume me. I will do my best to accept whatever roadblock, downfall, bad day, funny moments, quite times and quality time I have left with my parents.

Sorry this post is not the most positive, I will work on that. I will do my best to keep you updated once a week on this new journey.

Please feel free to comment or share your journey with me.


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Music Monday: Gordon Mote

Photo by: gaither.com

Photo by: gaither.com

I was planning on doing my family’s favorite music this month. But you know the past week has been a challenge. So here’s one of my Mom’s favorite songs. I hope you enjoy.

Reminder: Look for the little things in your day that bring you joy. Call you mom/Dad and give them big hugs.

Mom’s favorite: Gordon Mote- Mercy Walked In  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShVKTFS4CSs


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Birthday Surprises and Blessings

Birthday

Today is my Birthday. Where did the last 47 years go? I’m getting old and doing my best to get wiser. I wanted to share with you the surprises I have had this past week.

I got a very nice surprise when I walked into the office on Friday. My desk was decorated and I had a card signed by my whole team. One of the girls that I have become friends with brought in the best doughnuts on the planet to share with the team.

What a pleasant surprise! I loved it!  It was very heartwarming to know that I haven’t been at this company very long but yet they showed me they care. Almost brought me to tears.

When I got home I was surprised to find I had a couple Birthday cards in the mail and a package from some cousins. Got to love my family. They are the best!

The “Kid” even fixed me a great dinner. I got to enjoy a pork roast with potatoes and carrots. That was so yummy. I had no idea he even knew how to cook this. Another great surprise!

 The “Kid” even had a card waiting for me with my favorite candy bar. He picked the most perfect card too. It made me cry. I didn’t know he felt that way. Just another wonderful pleasant surprise.

I awoke this morning to my phone blowing up with texts from family and friends. My Facebook page was a surprise too. Never had so many Birthday wishes before. Just another wonderful surprise.

The last surprise I got this week was not a happy surprise. My mom was diagnosed with state 4 Cirrhosis of the liver (non-alcoholic). She was informed “to get her papers in order”.

It’s been a sad week but yet I have had so many blessings this week as well.  Blessed to have a job and a few wonderful friends from that job.

Blessed that I have so many friends and family that love me enough to show me how much they care.

Blessed that “the Kid” has a kind heart.

Blessed I get to be on this journey with my folks.

Blessed with a loving, supportive and caring family.

This Birthday may not have been one of the greatest for me considering the bad news but it will be one that I remember for a very long time. This Birthday brought in some new blessings, new realities and a new journey. I am blessed.

I will keep you up to date on this journey I am on.

Thank you all for reading, taking the time to comment, like and share my blog. Your support is overwhelming.